Contents

The House With the Haunted Heart

"I'm surprised that you'd ask me here, Mr. Potter," said Snape, as Harry ushered him through the front door of Number 12, Grimmauld Place. There was a wreath on the outside, which Snape couldn't help but find ironic, considering.

"With the Fidelius being what it is, I don't have a lot of choices," said Harry honestly, sounding sheepish more than resentful, which surprised Snape even more. "I mean, eventually we'll get around it by moving the Order Headquarters, but I like the privacy it gives me for now."

"You mentioned having problems with the house that you believe I can be of some assistance solving?" asked Snape.

"Yes, from what I can tell there's some kind of blood magic woven into the house, and since I'm not of the bloodline, it resists me at every turn," said Harry disgustedly, keeping his voice low. "I haven't even managed to get that stupid portrait removed."

"You are attempting to remodel against the house's wishes, then?" said Snape, already mentally calculating the difficulties involved. He might even have to call in Malfoy as one of the last of the Blacks, if all else failed, which would be prohibitively expensive both in Harry's cash and Snape's favours.

Harry sighed, gesturing around himself. "I'd like some light in here, and that's just a start, but the stupid house snuffs out every bulb or fairy or candle I try to set up, so it stays dark and uninviting."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Your house is under Fidelius, Potter. It is, by its very nature, uninviting. Why do you have wreath on the door?"

Harry huffed. "I should've known you wouldn't understand," he said, sounding annoyed as much at himself as Snape.

Snape backtracked, mentally cursing his foolish tongue; this time of year, job prospects were slim and his purse slimmer. "My apologies, I only meant that a certain amount of resistance could be overcome simply by picking your battles, as it were." He couldn't imagine that the wreath stayed up very well, given the Blacks' opinions on such frivolities.

"Oh," said Harry, the fight going out of him a little. "Sorry, it's just that it's you, and me, so I keep expecting you to lecture me or tell me I'm an idiot, and when you don't it's a little startling."

Snape couldn't help it, he laughed out loud. "I suppose it might be at that," he said, shaking his head. "Is there somewhere we might sit while we discuss the details? If you're still interested in hiring me, that is."

Harry blushed, laughing sheepishly himself. "Yes, sorry, I'm a crap host despite the wreath, I guess."

Snape looked around as Harry led him into the parlour, impressed with the changes the boy -- no, man now, and looking every bit his age -- had managed to make despite the house's resistance. "You've made some progress in here," said Snape, sitting in the proffered seat and finding it far more comfortable than the horsehair sofa he remembered from his days spying for the Order, which seemed a lifetime ago now. These days, Snape used his talents to purge Dark magics from his clients' possessions or, as in Potter's case, homes. Unfortunately, business was still very sparse for a man of his reputation and crimes, even pardoned.

Harry sat, then picked up the steaming teapot from the low table between them, holding it poised over a cup. "Tea, Professor?"

Snape snorted at the long-obsolete appellation. "You might as well call me Severus, if you're going to be a client," he said, nodding at the cup. "Just lemon, if you have it."

"I remember," said Harry, producing a small plate of the paper-thin slices Snape preferred. "Winky's been dying to show off for you, you know."

"Whatever happened to your other elf, Kreacher?" asked Snape curiously. If he was going to fix the house, he'd didn't want to have to fight the elf over the disposition of the portrait of Mrs. Black that still lurked in the hallway, covered by rather more substantial draperies.

Harry sighed, then shrugged. "Offed himself, after he'd accepted Winky into the family's service. I guess it was getting harder for him to fulfil his duties than he let on."

"He was quite old," said Snape, nodding his understanding. "Did you mount his head with the rest?"

"Ugh, no," said Harry, "We buried them all together in some cemetery for house elves, so Hermione would forgive us for letting him do it."

"An acceptable compromise," said Snape, sipping the tea and finding it more than adequate. "Why don't you tell me more about your plans, and the difficulties you've had so far? Do they focus mostly on one location or one type of alteration?" he asked, trying to keep his own thoughts on the job and not the small, unaccustomed luxuries that apparently came with it.

"Not that we've noticed," said Harry, snagging a biscuit and munching on it thoughtfully. He got crumbs around his mouth, and Snape had to resist the urge to brush them away. "The cellars flood even though there's charms against it, whenever we try to clean out the nasty old labs and runes and dark artefacts down there. There's lights that won't stay lit, and vermin of all sorts, and most of the portraits won't come off the walls. And the kitchen nearly exploded when I tried to remodel it."

"Have you been successful in replacing any furnishings other than these?" asked Snape, patting the chair.

"Oh, yeah, it mostly doesn't care about that, except for vermin stuff that happens anyway," said Harry. When Snape got an uncomfortable look, he quickly added, "Everything you're to use has been checked and re-checked, Winky's very thorough."

"Indeed," said Snape dubiously, making plans to dose himself against magical parasites as soon as he got home. "Have you had any non-magical difficulties?"

"Like regular mice or leaks or whatever? Not really, come to think of it. Just the flooding, and since it wasn't even raining outside, we figured that was magical," said Harry, nibbling on his biscuit again.

"And who is this 'we' you keep speaking of?" asked Snape curiously; he would have expected Granger to have become Harry's better half until she married Weasley instead, and he wanted some forewarning if he'd be expected to deal with anyone else poking their nose into his work. Harry's presence was, of course, inevitable and might even be welcome if the boy had retained any of his old talent.

Harry looked even more uncomfortable, then he sighed and set down his teacup. "It's just me, now, I... 'We' didn't work out, but I had been living with Charlie Weasley," he said, looking at Snape with a quiet sort of desperation. "Charlie's gone to stay with his family for Christmas, and then he's going back to Romania. He said there was less prejudice there, and... I wasn't enough to keep him from his dragons anymore."

"For all that we can get married, a surprising number of wizards think we oughtn't," said Snape, nodding. He'd run into the same prejudices, back when he was young and foolish enough to attempt any sort of romance, something long absent from his life.

"Er, we?" asked Harry, looking decidedly dubious.

Snape gave a short laugh as he realised the misunderstanding. "We homosexuals, Pot- Harry. Not you and I specifically, though I don't doubt most of the wizarding world would stand up and object should you and I make the attempt."

Harry laughed, looking insultingly relieved, though Snape was accustomed enough to such reactions that he didn't let it bother him. Much. It didn't help that Potter had grown into an attractive young man, still lacking in the social graces but no more so than Snape himself. "I suppose that's true, and you'd be the first one in line," said Harry.

Snape couldn't resist; he quirked up his mouth in a wry little smile and said, "Perhaps when you were spotty and fifteen, but you've grow up quite fit."

Harry's wide-eyed reaction was well worth any trouble it would cause later, and Snape gamely held his gaze, daring him to deny the truth of Snape's statement. "Oi, now you're just putting me on," said Harry, shaking his head. "You've already got the job, you know." He paused in the midst of snagging a biscuit and added, "If you have time and, erm, want it, I mean."

"I charge fifty-seven galleons a day plus expenses, and I will need to stay here for the duration," warned Snape; a lot of clients balked at having him as a guest, until he explained to them the extra travel and overtime fees he'd be charging if they didn't allow it. "I can start as soon as you wish," he added hopefully, though in truth he wasn't expecting the actual work to start until after the new year, when some of his more irritating debts would also come due.

"Of course," said Harry, as though neither the acceptability of his fee nor his welcome had ever been in doubt. "Winky's made up one of the rooms for you already."

Snape blinked, his mental calculations coming to a screeching halt as they were rendered moot. If only Potter had been this accommodating as a student. He gathered his wits and said, "Ah, yes. Well, I will have to go home and assemble my things, but I suppose we could begin as early as tonight."

"I've opened the Floo for you, is that all right?" asked Harry, standing and gesturing toward the fire. "It's easier than trying to duplicate the bloody key."

Snape laughed and drained his tea, then stood. "No sense dawdling, then. I shall return as soon as I have packed."

Harry grinned. "Excellent, I'll make sure Winky knows dinner will be for two," he said, stepping forward and holding out his hand. Snape shook it, and Harry added, "If anyone can make this stupid house behave, it's you and me."

Snape Flooed home with his thoughts whirling, and the one that settled to the top was not the unexpected windfall of a long-term job in a house where no one could find him, but the observation that Harry had, in fact, grown up quite fit. As Snape packed, he found himself adding more toiletries than he might have otherwise, and finer robes along with his usual singed and stained work fare. He stopped when he realised he was doing it and sat, determined not to do anything so foolish as romantically pursue Harry Potter.

At least, not without a plan.

---

Though it took some doing, Snape managed to run all his errands and return in time for dinner, encouraged when he saw the relief in Harry's face. "I have made it a point not to lie outright, now that I am no longer required to do so," he said, resisting the urge to smirk as he had in Harry's youth and instead letting only a wry little smile curl his thin lips. "I assume I've made it in time for your elf to impress me with her culinary skills?"

Harry laughed, flushing attractively, and nodded. "Yeah, she should be done any minute. She's even making us use the dining room," said Harry. "Oh! But I should show you up to your room first."

"Thank you, that would be kind," said Snape; his work required some items it wasn't wise to shrink for travel, and consequently he'd had to drag a full trunk through the Floo.

Harry led Snape upstairs to the room that, if he recalled correctly, Remus had used during the war. "I'm in the master suite, across the hall," said Harry, opening the door and glaring into the room as if he expected it to balk at Snape's presence. "It looks safe enough, but keep an eye out. Winky cleared out an infestation of Counterpedes this morning, and the house might try something else." The nasty little insects laid rows of eggs in precise hundreds across the bed, which would hatch under the sleeper and burrow into their skin, causing an awful rash and a tendency to count things unnecessarily.

"I am used to foiling such tactics, never fear," said Snape, setting up his trunk at the foot of the bed. "Is there time for a brief shower before dinner? I'm afraid I am less than clean after packing and Flooing," he asked, sending a fine cloud of soot up into the air from one sleeve demonstratively.

"Oh, yeah, I'll just let Winky know," said Harry, though he looked distinctly nervous at the idea of Snape bathing at all. "The bathroom is right through here, you'll actually share the master bath with me. It was one of the few changes the house let me make since the old door was hiding in the wall, just waiting to be Transfigured back."

"Likely from an era when the master and mistress of the house kept separate bedrooms," said Snape, opening his trunk pointedly. "I shouldn't be more than twenty minutes."

"All right. Oh, right! Yes. I'll leave you to it," said Harry, retreating with a look on his face that suggested he would spend the time pondering the idea of Snape in the shower, and wondering why he wanted to ponder it in the first place.

Snape smiled as Harry left, shutting the door behind him. The first part of his plan had gone quite well, and he stripped down swiftly and made his way into the bathroom, happy to make use of the unfamiliar facilities despite his usual aversion to other people's bathrooms. He swiftly cleaned himself and dressed, dried his hair with a spell rather than leaving it to drip as was his wont, and even bothered to tie it back with a silver clip. He wore his best robes which, while by no means silk, were still a rich deep blue, the wool heavy enough for cold floors and fine enough that he wouldn't look out of place in the dining room.

Harry was already sitting at the table, the once-grand length shortened by magic to create a sense of cosiness, though the effect was spoilt by the giant bouquet of flowers in the centre of the table. "Is your house elf shielding you from my wicked glare," asked Snape, his voice light as he took his place behind the gaudy blooms, "or hoping to keep us from arguing as long as possible?"

Harry laughed. "It's Winky, she just likes brightly coloured things," said Harry. "I'll move them, hold on." He levitated it to the sideboard, which only just managed to accommodate the overstuffed vase.

"Much better," said Snape, opening his serviette with a snap and laying it on his lap. "Do you know what we're having?"

Harry shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. "She likes to surprise me," said Harry. He sat down and then froze, blinking, as though he'd just noticed Snape's change in attire. "Those are rather posh for dinner with me," he said, eyeing the way the robes fit Snape's slender frame.

"It's a bit draughty," said Snape, dusting off an imaginary speck from one sleeve. "These are my warmest robes." Which was true, to an extent, though he had others that would be more serviceable, especially as he'd left everything in need of repair laying out conspicuously. He wasn't above taking advantage of Winky's desire to suck up to him, especially not if a bit of polish impressed Harry this much.

"Oh," said Harry, and was saved from having to actually issue a compliment when dinner arrived, individual plates covered in silver domes, along with pumpkin juice to drink. Harry lifted his lid, and Snape followed suit, taking in the artful display of glazed carrots, fresh peas, mashed potatoes and what appeared to be roast beef, each item getting a wedge-shaped spiral on the plate, though none of the food actually touched. "She made one of my favourites, I hope it's all right."

Snape smiled; it was a heartier meal than he'd had in a long time, and he speared a carrot. "It looks delicious," he said sincerely, leaving aside any artifice between them and giving Harry something genuine instead, his own enjoyment of a hot meal, intriguing company, and a challenge to look forward to. He ate the carrot, finding it just done enough and flavoured with maple and honey, and nodded. "Your elf can cook."

Harry beamed as though it was him being given the compliment, one of the few he'd likely ever heard from Snape's lips. "She learned at the Crouches, but losing her place there made her a bit off," said Harry, between bites of his own dinner. "I think seeing the elves at Hogwarts helped bring her back to herself a little. She's my elf now instead of a free elf, Kreacher accepted her into the household properly before he, erm, you know."

Snape felt an odd tug of sympathy, that Harry would take such care with a creature that had been cast off by its former masters. In a way it was a sign not only of Harry's growing maturity, but the origins that Snape had become so acutely aware of during their Occlumency lessons. "I cannot imagine that you could possibly be a worse master than Barty Crouch," was all he said, however; there was honesty, and then there was foolishness.

Harry preened under the praise anyway, shooting Snape a speculative look. "You're much less, erm, well, a lot nicer than you were when I was fifteen and spotty," he said, just a touch of coyness to his tone and posture.

"I find myself much more suited to having one simple profession, rather than two annoyingly complicated ones," said Snape, thinking back to the days when he had to balance his own loathing of children with his obligations to Albus, not to mention his obligations to the Dark Lord, once they came due.

"I'm not sure I'd call this simple," said Harry dubiously, glancing around as though the house itself had ears, and was listening maliciously.

Snape smiled serenely. "Try teaching Potions to eleven-year-olds."

---

The next morning, Snape awoke to find the wardrobe filled with clean, repaired robes, and even the clothes he'd left packed in his trunk had found their way into drawers and onto hangers, with stains he'd thought hopeless now vanquished by house elf magic. He found himself smiling in the shower as he thought of the task ahead, and paying more attention than usual to how he looked and smelled when he emerged. It had been more years than he cared to contemplate since he'd had reason or opportunity to woo another man, and Snape found it to be a challenge as invigorating as the one presented by the house.

He put on his work robes, the faded black renewed and all signs of wear and tear deftly removed by Harry's elf, tied his hair back with a bit of leather thong, and made his way down to breakfast with that same smile lurking at the corners of his mouth.

"Good morning, Harry," said Snape, seating himself across from Potter, amused to note that an even gaudier vase of flowers was occupying the mantel today, a few stray petals and an empty spot at the centre of the table revealing its prior position. "I see Winky is still attempting to shield us from one another with floral arrangements."

Harry laughed, looking sleepy and slightly surprised, as though the last thing he expected from Snape was a joke. "Good morning, erm, Severus," said Harry, smile still lingering around the corners of his mouth. "Sleep well?"

Snape smoothed his serviette over his lap and began to make himself a cup of tea, as conscious of the motion of his hands as though he were brewing the most delicate potion. He did nothing overt, but his fingers lingered here and there, touching the handles of the teapot, spoon and even the lemon slice with something that was not quite a caress. "Well enough," said Snape. "I expect the house will try harder to discourage me once it discerns my purpose here."

"Probably," Harry agreed with a yawn. "It was peaceful for me until I started trying to renovate things it didn't want changed."

"That's good to know," said Snape. "I will attempt to limit myself to observation without action as long as possible, so that when I do begin my work, I have an idea of how it will react and how to protect myse- us." He was unaccustomed to having help from the client, but even he couldn't deny Harry's competence. Snape let his eyes flicker over Harry, sleep-mussed and smiling as he ate toast with too much marmalade, and allowed himself to imagine that he might even enjoy the company, for once.

"I knew you were smarter than me," said Harry with a chagrined little laugh. "I've just been going at things willy-nilly."

Snape smirked, though it was without the cold condescension he was used to putting into the expression when directed at Harry. "That is, presumably, why you hired me," he said, taking a dignified sip of his tea, though he knew his expression still held mischief.

The best part about it, Snape thought as he watched Harry's sleepy brain try to process this new face of his old enemy, was that he could surprise, confuse and possibly even intrigue Harry, just by being himself and doing his job. That was an entertainment in and of itself, regardless of the success or failure of his other plans.

"Apparently so," said Harry, finishing off his tea and pouring more with the look of a man wishing he'd brewed something stronger. "Are you always so, so awake in the mornings?" he asked with a yawn.

Snape laughed. "Not always, but I do make the effort not to present myself to my employers with my wits less than sharp," he said. Left to his own devices, Snape would muddle through breakfast just as Harry did and not shower until the day's work was done.

Harry snorted, then downed half of his new cup of tea with a blissful expression. "I'll keep that in mind for later," he said, finally waking up enough to serve himself something more substantial than toast.

Snape took pity on him and let the conversation go quiet while they both ate their breakfasts, not starting it up again until their plates were empty and cups refilled a third time for himself, and fourth at least for Harry. "Tell me about the house, what it is now and what you want it to be," said Snape, trying to summon up more than an academic interest for once.

Harry's smile made it easier than it might have been, his enthusiasm infectious as he began at the top. "The attic is fascinating, I think there's generations worth of stuff up there under preservation charms, I swear it's bigger inside than anywhere else in the house."

"And have you attempted to remove, reorganise or renovate anything up there?" asked Snape curiously.

Harry flushed and shook his head. "No, I've looked around a bunch, but there's always noises and a sense of something moving just out of sight." He shrugged and tried to look nonchalant. "I haven't made it back up since Charlie left."

"Probably wise," said Snape with a nod. "There could be any number of nasty things hiding up there, waiting to strike you down once and for all, should they catch you unawares."

Harry looked sufficiently surprised at this idea that Snape downgraded his opinion of the Weasley by a notch. Danger was a part of some professions, but only fools courted it when it could instead be prevented and called that bravery.

"Oh," was all Harry said, looking down and spinning his teacup on its saucer for a moment.

Snape cleared his throat. "I should like to look it over, but I think we can leave things be up there for the moment, so long as nothing up there creeps down here."

Harry shuddered, then nodded. "Yes. That would be... bad."

Snape wondered if perhaps it wasn't merely vague things Harry had seen after all, but decided not to push the issue for the moment.

"Well, since we've started at the top, what's on the next floor down?" asked Snape, sipping his tea.

"Oh, that's all bedrooms, both of the next two are. I don't mind keeping them as bedrooms, though of course I'd want to redecorate. Everything's just so dark in here!" said Harry.

As if to confirm his plaint, one by one the candles around the room began to gutter and fail. Snape rolled his eyes and sent a spell at the blinds, making them roll up and allow sunlight into the dining room, then spelled the candles out himself. "It might help if you didn't leave all the blinds down," said Snape dryly.

Harry flushed and laughed. "It might, at that." He got a sheepish smile that Snape was ashamed to admit he found cute, and added, "I forget no one can see in."

"For now," said Snape. "Eventually, you would have to keep that in mind, but our breakfast hardly counts as scandalous." He paused, then raised an eyebrow, "Unless you had more in mind for it than I imagined."

Harry laughed, as he was meant to, but he didn't look quite so appalled at the idea of Snape as a romantic partner as he had last night, so Snape counted it a double victory. "No, no, nothing like that," said Harry, then he got a mischievous look and added, "It would be interesting to see how the house felt about it, though."

Snape's eyes grew just a bit wide and he shivered, "I'd hate to see what it might do if it objected at a crucial moment."

Harry shuddered, though there was still humour lurking in his eyes. "Might be worth it," he said impishly.

Snape nearly snorted his tea.

Two more cups apiece were drunk as they discussed the rest of the house and Harry's hopes for it, Snape doing his best to encourage and finding it wasn't too difficult -- aside from having no real interest in the old potions lab, Harry had remarkably sensible ideas for the house. Snape remembered the Black laboratory as wonderfully well-equipped, if dark and dank as a dungeon.

"Now," said Snape, standing, "why don't you walk me through the house and just tell me about the difficulties you've had, and what circumstances surrounded each incursion?" He paused, then chuckled. "I'll borrow your downstairs loo first, though, if it's usable?"

"Oh, yeah, Winky keeps a close eye on the bedrooms and facilities," said Harry with a grin. He laughed as Snape moved off, saying, "It's funny, I never really thought of you as, I dunno, human before."

Snape raised one eyebrow. "Did you imagine I was immune to the consequences of so much tea in one sitting?" he asked, not giving Harry a chance to answer before he vanished into the small water closet. Despite Harry's assurances, he did a few quick spells to check for vermin and poltergeists before he bared any part of himself, emerging with impeccable robes, clean hands and a smirk for Harry.

"Still all there?" asked Harry, standing up from the now-cleared table.

"Did you wish to check?" asked Snape sweetly, gesturing toward the anatomy in question.

Harry blushed. "Ah, no, but I will, erm. You know," he said, and vanished into the loo himself.

Snape chalked that up as a surprise victory, for having made Harry think of him as both human and male. He spent the time while Harry was indisposed inspecting the dining room more thoroughly, with a mind toward the specific alterations Harry had wished for -- mostly adding colour and bringing in more light. Perhaps if there was some way to convince the house that the important purpose of each room would remain intact, though he couldn't see a way around it if the house was determined to keep such items as the Black family tree as is.

"I notice you don't have a Christmas tree yet," said Snape, as they made their way back into the parlour. "Is that your choice, or the house's?"

Harry laughed. "A bit of both, really. After the wreath thing it seemed wiser to wait."

"The wreath thing?" asked Snape.

Harry grinned sheepishly. "I suppose that's as good a place as any to start our tour," he said, gesturing for Snape to precede him into the hallway. They made their way through the dark foyer and back out into the morning light.

The wreath that had hung cheerfully on the door yesterday was now slumped against the hinges, its velvet ribbons moth-eaten and evergreen boughs withered and dry. It looked like a decoration from seasons ago, stored badly and then tossed haphazardly aside. "I see what you mean," said Snape, bending down with his wand to see if any vermin remained on the rejected decoration.

Not to mention giving Harry a view of his posterior.

"Is this what it always does?" asked Snape, straightening once he was certain that the wreath wasn't inhabited by anything more than ill will.

"Um, what?" said Harry, and he was blushing when Snape looked back at him. Very promising, indeed.

"When you hang a wreath, is this always the outcome?" asked Snape, waving his hand at the pathetic thing.

Harry shook his head, looking sheepish. "No, usually it just won't stay up, or the ribbons all fall off, or once it got this weird little glowy worm infestation that upset Winky."

"It's interesting that the house would deploy vermin that could, in theory, damage itself beyond repair," said Snape. "If they were Firefly larvae as I suspect, then the house must have very good control over its pests, or else be willing to risk the whole place to Winky's skill."

Harry looked confused. "But fireflies are harmless, aren't they?"

"You're thinking of the Muggle things that live in the Americas and Asia. Magical Fireflies can set a whole house ablaze once they mature."

"Oh," said Harry, and Snape wondered what was becoming of his mind that he found Harry's dumbfounded look endearing rather than irritating.

Snape smiled and laid a hand on Harry's arm. "I didn't grow up with it, either, Harry. I remember what it was like to feel frustrated when everyone expected me to understand the magical world."

Harry laughed, flushing attractively. "Yeah, that's pretty much my whole life, these days. Every thinks I ought to've figured it out by now."

"I don't," said Snape dryly. "I've known you were an idiot ever since I had you in my class as a First Year."

Harry laughed, as he was meant to, and Snape let his hand drop away. "You never minded saying so, either."

"Someone had to remain immune to your charms, so you realised how much there was yet to learn." Snape shook his head over the wreath. "I think this one's done for, do you wish to produce another, or give the wreath up as a lost cause?"

"If only I could charm this stupid house," said Harry irritably.

Snape Banished the ruined decoration, then turned to Harry with a little smirk. "If that's how you talk when you're being charming, it's no wonder you're single."

---

The outside of the house showed little evidence that Harry had ever tried to improve it, other than the building itself being in generally good repair. The grounds were overgrown or barren in turns, and Snape couldn't spot a single attractive or useful plant among the lot.

"I take it you haven't tried to do much with the yard?" asked Snape. They were standing on the back porch, having gone through the whole ground floor from the dim, unwelcoming foyer through the formal dining room, into the larger-than-strictly-possible library and out here to look over the truly pathetic back garden.

Harry shook his head. "Last thing on my mind, really." He took another look and said, "Is it just me, or does the house seem to have gone out of its way to make it really unpleasant back here?"

"It's not just you," replied Snape. "There's something back here it doesn't want us to look for, I expect. We'll look tomorrow."

"Why not now?" asked Harry, already stepping toward the alarmingly rotten back stairs.

"I'd rather the house not try to interfere before the tour is up," Snape explained, opening the back door and gesturing for Harry to go back inside. "Somehow, I get the feeling it won't like it when we go exploring."

Harry turned and followed, sighing. "I'm already dreading it." He sounded worn down, and Snape wondered how far he'd let things get before he'd resorted to hiring out. To hiring Snape.

"Cheer up, at least you'll be getting some action instead of all this waiting."

Harry laughed. "I don't think that comes with the contract, unless you've got a very special sort of service."

The flirty tone was quite encouraging, though the cynical part of Snape figured it was probably just a way to work out his nerves. "Oh, that's a completely different sort of contract, and can't be bought with mere gold," said Snape slyly, putting a hand on the small of Harry's back to help him up the stairs.

"Expensive date, are you?" replied Harry with a laugh, leading him upward.

Snape smirked. "Just very particular." He gave Harry a mock-flirty look. "After all, I can't let just any bloke into my pants of the dozens clambering."

Harry pretended to look around and then at Snape's backside, just to be sure. "Are they very small blokes doing the clambering?" he asked with false innocence.

They shared a laugh, and much of the tension dissipated as they started in on the first floor. These rooms, too, were familiar, the parlour with its creeping family tree and the upper storey of the library, which had railings and tall ladders and overlooked the lower storey and the vast and strange collection of books and grimoires.

"Will you add to the collection?" asked Snape, leaning warily on one of the railings looking down. There were definite holes in the otherwise full shelves, likely where the Order or Ministry had taken away books deemed too Dark even for Harry Potter to own.

Harry nodded, leaning with him rather less gingerly than Snape was and making the wood creak. "I want to, yeah. I have to figure out where there's gaps, no use buying a bunch of books only to find I've already got them."

"I suspect there's not much of a catalogue at this point," said Snape wryly.

Snape straightened up just in time to hear the creak become a crack, and he was grateful for his war-honed reflexes as he pulled Harry back toward the shelves with him, leaving the railing to lean out alarmingly over the lower floor.

"Merlin, I hate that," said Harry, catching his breath. He cast a quick <em>Reparo</em> on the railing, which righted itself willingly enough. "It hasn't tried to off me very much, it must not like you."

"It wouldn't be alone in its opinions," said Snape wryly. His arm was still slung around Harry's waist, other hand on Harry's arm, the two of them leaning close. It felt annoyingly good, like something Snape could learn to crave very soon.

Harry chuckled and gave him a shoulder-bump. "Well, I've revised my opinion of you, the house will just have to learn to agree."

---

After the incident with the railing, they made short work of the remaining floors, discovering an infestation of beetles in one of the guest rooms and a mysterious leak in the ceiling of another, which had nothing above it but the attics. They stood at the bottom of the rickety stair-ladder and exchanged dubious glances.

"Tea first?" asked Harry hopefully.

Snape looked from Harry to the dark, gaping opening above them. "Definitely tea," he said.

Harry grinned, tapping the stairs with his wand to make them fold up. They turned away and started walking before the ladder was even fully up, so forbidding was the atmosphere from above.

"I can see why you've avoided it all this time," said Snape, as they headed downstairs to the parlour. He put his hand on Harry's lower back as they hit the stairs, theoretically a precaution against another mishap.

Harry shrugged, but his cheeks were ever so slightly pink as he answered, "It also wasn't a priority, but yeah." He also didn't move away as they walked, even when they got to the flat corridor.

Snape counted that a victory, and removed the hand himself, moving forward to open the parlour door. "After you, my host."

Harry chuckled. "Why thank you, my guest," he said with equal amused formality, stepping inside to see if Winky had laid out the tea yet.

Snape followed, eyes automatically scanning for signs of mischief, still on alert after their survey of the house. "Stop," said Snape, reaching out to stay Harry's hand where he was about to lift the lid on what was presumably their afternoon meal.

"What, why?" asked Harry. "This is how Winky always leaves tea for me."

"Is it normally moving?" asked Snape archly, wand pointing at the cover.

Harry looked back, and then turned a bit green as he, too, spotted the subtle undulating motion. "Ugh, no, and I don't think I want to see what's under there. Winky!"

"Winky is helping Master... Oh! Oh, no, bad house, bad elf, Winky will fix it and bring masters their proper tea!" The elf clapped and the platter vanished. The air seemed clearer once it was gone, as though it had been emitting a subtly unpleasant odour in addition to its disturbing motion. "Winky is being very fast for masters!" She vanished as quickly as she'd appeared, and Snape sagged.

"Well," said Harry wryly, "I think we can definitely say the house has figured out that you don't have its best interests at heart."

"I suspect you're right," said Snape with a chuckle. "Do you have parchment around here somewhere? Perhaps we could make up a map with some notes..."

"Oh! I already have that, I wasn't sure, well, I mean, I didn't want to assume..." said Harry sheepishly. "I suppose I just didn't want you to give me bad marks."

Snape laughed. "I assure you, I have no intention of assigning a score to your work."

"I'll run up and get them after tea, then," said Harry with a grin.

"We can put the attic off another day or three and go over your notes instead. I'll also want to visit the Ministry with you to see about records of the house, unless you think one of your pet Weasleys can..." Snape saw Harry's face had gone thunderous. "Sorry, old habits. Unless you think one of your friends at the Ministry can owl the papers here to you."

Harry looked wryly amused at Snape's slip, much to Snape's relief. "Yeah, maybe. Percy'll know where to look, anyway, but we might get dragged to Sunday dinner if we ask."

Snape blanched. "The Ministry's records room might be preferable."

They were still laughing when Winky reappeared with a fresh tray.

---

They spent tea talking, by mutual accord, about everything but the house. Snape told anecdotes of previous jobs, and Harry talked about the other parts of his life from the end of the war to the present day, which seemed mostly to involve various Weasleys.

"When can I expect an invasion?" asked Snape, as they finished off their meal.

"Winky'll check your things before bed," said Harry, brows knitting.

Snape chuckled. "Not of vermin, of Weasleys, or at the very least Granger. I can't imagine she leaves you on your own for too long without worrying you've fallen in the bath and died."

Harry laughed. "She and Ron usually come by for Thursday dinner, and then I meet the twins for a pint on Friday, but everything's off with the holidays coming up. It's why I was so glad you could come work with me right off, otherwise I'd just be rattling around here alone for weeks."

"The house might actually try to do away with you in that case," said Snape dryly, choosing to ignore the note of loneliness in Harry's tone. He could imagine that Harry had been anticipating a holiday filled with Weasleys and celebration, until Charlie left for his dragons. "We'll have to be on the lookout, you wouldn't want to end up with a stake of holly through your heart."

"Dickens? How very Muggle," said Harry with a giggle. "Next you'll be quoting telly at me."

Snape rolled his eyes. "I grew up in the Muggle world, just like you, and in my youth Dickens was required reading."

"We watched the movie," said Harry, grinning. "Can't expect nine-year-olds to appreciate the prose these days, you know."

Snape sighed heavily and rolled his eyes heavenward. "Yes. I know."

Harry giggled again. "Almost as bad as teaching potions to eleven-year-olds?"

"Of course not," said Snape, "Books don't explode."

"Too true," said Harry wryly. "Well, except in this house. Speaking of which, let me go find those papers."

The tea service disappeared, only to be replaced by the papers, and then a moment later a fresh pot of tea, complete with two cups, a pitcher of milk and bowl of sugar cubes.

Harry laughed. "Or I suppose Winky could get them," he said, sorting through them and leaving Snape to pour. "Thank you, Winky," he added absently.

As if the elf had been listening, a small plate of biscuits appeared as an afterthought. Snape took the hint and echoed Harry's sentiment, feeling a bit silly for thanking the thin air.

He felt less silly when half the biscuits turned from chocolate to ginger.

Snape made up their teacups, putting two chocolate biscuits on Harry's saucer and snagging two of the ginger for himself. They sipped their tea and pored over the papers, a quill and colour-changing ink appearing so they could make notes, everything seemingly random until they got back around to the present day. "Hm. The few dangerous vermin and accidents only occurred when you ventured into areas the house considers sacrosanct -- attic, back yard, and basement laboratory. The nuisances appear random, but tend to cluster when you try to change specific things, again whatever the house seems to feel should remain."

"And the few stretches of good days have mostly been when I've restored things the house likes," said Harry, brows knitting. "Like when I put the door back in from your rooms to the master bath."

"Thus restoring the original master and mistress suite, which the house apparently considers the proper way to do things," said Snape with a chuckle. "That does give us a small idea of the era of the spells, what other changes have you made successfully?"

They made a list, and then plans the next day to see if there were any records of construction or remodelling at the Ministry. It would get them away from the house entirely so they could make some more plans, and despite the tedium of their self-appointed task, Snape would make the most of it. He wanted to see if the house had been affecting Harry's moods as well as providing physical irritations.

Snape himself was so often annoyed it was hard to tell if the cause was justified or manufactured, especially around Harry Potter.

---

Before their evening meal, they both elected to make use -- separately -- of the remodelled shower. The house gave them peace for the space of their showers, though Snape had to banish a boggart from his wardrobe before he was allowed to dress for dinner.

After dinner, by mutual consent they put the papers away, their list entrusted to Winky until tomorrow. Instead they each chose a book from the lower floor of the library and retired to the parlour to read, Snape professing surprise that Harry knew how and Harry making another joke about Dickens. It was congenial, quietly pleasant in a way Snape hadn't had in his life very often, and he allowed himself to enjoy it without bothering to plan, manipulate or think about anything but the rare treatise he was reading and the rare company he was in.

Snape tried not to read too much into Harry's hesitation as they parted in the hallway, reasoning that Harry was used to having his companion in these endeavours also be a lover. "I'll see you bright and early, don't worry, I'll put up wards against the ghosts of Christmas."

"It's more the Marleys I'm worried about," said Harry with a laugh, "Or, I should say, the Blacks."

"I suspect if the house were really haunted by self-righteous purebloods, you'd have had a visitation long before now. I mean, you did shag a Weasley," said Snape dryly.

Harry laughs, as he was meant to, and Snape tried to ignore the feeling he kept getting of eyes on him. In a semi-aware house full of portraits and a house elf, it was a wonder he ever went without such a sensation, really.

"Sweet dreams, then, Severus," said Harry with an impish grin.

"And to you, Harry," said Snape, slipping into his own room before he could be tempted to say anything else.

He brushed his teeth and washed his face, then puttered around his room checking his night-wards and listening to the soothing sounds of Harry getting ready for bed. The day had been at turns stressful and productive, and Snape paused to make notes in the small book he'd brought along to track their progress, laying his thoughts to rest for the night before triple-checking the bedding and laying down to sleep, the barely-there hum of his wards soothing him.

The screaming of those same wards woke him some time later, and he leapt out of bed and ran straight through to Harry's room. He'd laid a simple alarm-charm across Harry's door and hooked it into his own night wards. For a moment he thought Harry had set them off getting up for a midnight snack, but then he burst into Harry's room and onto a scene of chaos.

Harry was standing up on the bed, desperately casting <em>Lumos</em> and various stunning spells, nearly hitting Snape. "Watch out, I think it's under the bed," said Harry.

The warning was timely; a tendril of darkness snaked out toward Snape's bare ankle, but a quick hex drove it back. "What is it?" asked Snape, sending another after the first for good measure.

"I don't know, I woke up to something looming over my bed," said Harry, shuddering. "At first I couldn't move, and then there was this horrible noise and I managed to cast a Lumos and it slithered under there."

"Describe it to me," said Snape, mind racing.

"It felt familiar," said Harry, eyes on the side of the bed hidden from Severus' view now, trusting that Severus was on alert. "It was just like the feeling I got in the attic, except I couldn't move anything except my eyes."

"Maere," said Snape, annoyed. "Someone bound a Maere to this house, instructing to keep unwanted people out of certain areas." The Maere were known to feed on night terrors, but they mostly preyed on Muggles. They were extremely weak to the right spells, and mostly relied on their ability to blend into the shadows; a Muggle would ignore an out-of-place shadow as impossible where an appropriately alert wizard would hex it out of existence. "But how would they feed it?"

Harry shuddered. "I don't think I want to know," he said, sending a few more spells down toward the floor.

"The wall, Harry!" said Snape, seeing a humanlike shape rise up, truly the stuff of nightmares, which got their name from this very creature. This was nothing like the Maere Snape had studied as a boy; rather than blending into the shadows, it had a sense of solidity that made him worry for Harry. More of those dark tendrils began to emerge, not out toward Snape but up on all sides of the bed, as if to engulf it and Harry in one.

"No you don't," said Harry drawing himself up. "<em>Expelliarmus</em>!"

To Snape's surprise, something flew away from the figure and it seemed to deflate, then tentacles fading to mist and the main body of the thing back to resembling a misplaced shadow. Snape finally dredged up the long-forgotten spell and destroyed the creature in a flash of bright light that illuminated every corner of the room, leaving it nowhere at all to hide.

"What was it that you disarmed?" asked Snape, as Harry hopped down and peered under the bed, sending light of his own now that Snape's spell had faded.

"Dunno," said Harry with a shrug, "but that spell's rarely done me wrong in duelling." They searched the room, but the feeling of dread was long gone and the Maere with it. The only thing they found was a blackened, cracked crystal ball rolled into one corner, which Snape elected to ward and take to the Ministry tomorrow rather than touch.

"I'm never getting back to sleep at this rate," said Harry, resigned. He couldn't quite bring himself to sit on the bed, and Snape couldn't really blame him.

"Then we'll spend the time setting up better wards in here. My spell should've gone off before the Maere could manifest enough to paralyse you."

"The what?" asked Harry curiously, amusement twitching at the corner of his mouth as he took in Snape's once-black nightshirt and bare legs below.

"The Maere. It is what woke you, though they are usually far weaker. Imagine a Dementor with the strength of a Boggart, something easy to banish unless it's already got you in its grasp. It paralyses a sleeping victim, then wakes them and feeds on the fear."

"That is so amazingly creepy," said Harry, rummaging in his trunk for a truly hideous old sock. "I am definitely not sleeping tonight." He levitated the cracked orb into it, and then locked the lot back in the trunk, which appeared to mostly contain unwanted detritus from his school days.

"Just let me change, and we'll ward. Perhaps you can persuade your elf to provide us with a nice, strong pot of tea?" said Snape, turning to go back into his room.

"Wait!" said Harry, and then he flushed. "Erm, can I, um, come with you? I won't look or anything, it's just..."

Snape's instinct was to protest, but he could see that Harry was shaken from his ordeal. He supposed if a super-powered creature out of nightmare had tried to eat him in his bed, he'd be less than sanguine about being left alone, too. "Yes, of course. But no peeking."

Harry grinned. "No peeking," he promised, and they trooped through the bathroom and into Snape's room, which was dim and cosy, wrapping them both in the welcoming magic of Snape's night wards.

Harry set himself up facing into the bathroom and looking a bit too wand-happy, while Snape found his warmest work robes and got dressed, figuring he was likely to want protection over fashion today. He resolutely kept his back to Harry as he slipped on clean pants, close-fitting white linen that was much nicer than the greying Muggle y-fronts he'd worn as a boy. Then he took off his nightshirt and put on a crisp white shirt and black trousers and frock coat, not quite the clothes he'd worn so often at Hogwarts but very close. Robes were next, and then he turned just fast enough to see a ghost of movement from Harry as he did so.

"Enjoy the view?" asked Snape dryly, teasing just a little while he donned socks and low boots.

"I don't know what you mean," said Harry, though the false innocence in his voice was deliberate this time rather than the poor attempts to skive off in his youth.

Snape chuckled. "Of course not." He stood, dusting himself off and straightening everything, and then said, "I suspect you'll wish to change as well? The view will be superior, at any rate."

"Oh, I don't know," said Harry with a grin, "it was a pretty nice view."

Snape snorted, but didn't comment, instead following Harry back into his rooms. He made no pretence of turning his back, instead leaning against one of Harry's sturdy bedposts with a flirty grin. "Go on, then."

Harry blushed, but he didn't protest. "I suppose it's only fair," he admitted, turning around and pulling off the worn t-shirt he'd been wearing to sleep in. He was thin but toned, less athletic than Snape expected, with that barely-finished look Snape remembered from his own early adulthood. A deep breath, and Harry's pyjama bottoms came down, revealing that he wore nothing underneath and had as pert an arse as any man could hope for.

"Definitely a nicer view," said Snape, getting him a blushing glare from over Harry's shoulder.

"I didn't get the full vista," Harry complained good-naturedly, slipping into simple boxers and jeans, then finally another, slightly newer t-shirt.

"Another time, perhaps," said Snape, getting a surprised look from Harry. "For now, I'll show you the wards I've been using instead."

Harry sighed. "I never was great at wards," he said, but he came to stand next to Snape anyway. "You're sure I can't just have a peek first?"

"You would do fine at warding if you'd just stop and think instead of rushing in all the time," said Snape, though he couldn't quite summon the irritable tone he'd used so often in Harry's youth.

Harry looked unrepentant. "Rushing in's done me all right so far," he said with a shrug.

Snape chuckled. "Well, unlike with your adventures at Hogwarts, the important thing with warding is to have a clear idea before you start casting of what you want when you're done."

"Like Summoning charms," said Harry.

Snape paused for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, though of course wards are more complex than Summoning a single, discrete object." At Harry's nod of understanding, Snape continued. "In this case, my night-wards are for safety, a sense of security, and to wake me should anything get through them. I'm not trying to hurt anything, just keep myself safe and sound while I'm at my most vulnerable."

"So, we're not thinking like a bug zapper, but a bubble?" said Harry curiously.

Snape gave him a wry look. "You're lucky I was raised Muggle enough to know what that is, and yes, though more like mosquito netting than either."

"Oh!" said Harry, and a light went on. "So the idea is to blanket the room with this netting to keep out nuisances, and if anything big tears through..."

"We effectively bell the netting, so we're woken hopefully before either of us can be eaten," finished Snape. "Just so."

Harry grinned at him, looking inordinately pleased with himself. "You're not so bad at teaching when you're not yelling at me," he said slyly.

Snape snorted. "You're better at listening, now that you're older." He smirked. "The view is nicer, as well."

Harry laughed, then sidled up closer to Snape, getting his wand at the ready. "So, we're putting up magical mosquito netting with an alarm charm in case anything gets through, right?"

"Correct," said Snape. He demonstrated the gesture and made Harry say the spell enough that Snape was reasonably sure they could cast in unison. "Now, on three."

"One," said Harry with a grin.

"Two," said Snape, lifting his wand.

They cast together, light weaving delicately out of their wands, Potter's golden magic forming the weft while Snape's silvery strands made the weave, the whole thing much stronger than if either had cast it alone. It blanketed the walls, ceiling and even the floor, draping over the doors and then, as they gave a last flick of their wands, vanished from sight.

"I never knew wards were pretty," breathed Harry, eyes round.

"Only some of them," said Snape, shrugging, though he'd appreciated their beauty just as Harry had. "Our magic is quite complementary."

"Are you telling me we did good?" asked Harry, looking wary and amused until he suddenly straightened up, alarmed. "Oh, but Winky!"

"Is an exception, as are you and I," said Snape. "I thought you might want to use the loo or get some food."

Harry relaxed again. "What would I ever do without you?"

Snape rolled his eyes at the false fawning in Harry's voice. "Starve, I expect."

Harry laughed. "Probably true," he said, and then added, "I wonder if Winky is awake?"

A tray of tea, cakes, biscuits and warm scones popped in, including fresh clotted cream and a dish of jam that fairly glowed in the warm light of Harry's bedroom. "I believe you have your answer," said Snape with a chuckle. "Though, perhaps we should ward the loo first, so you don't require my companionship wherever we go?"

Harry laughed and grabbed a biscuit anyway, then gestured for Snape to precede him into the master bathroom. When they did the wards in there, they included an extra command to join them with the ones in Snape and Harry's rooms, making a seamless whole. Snape was pleased to see Harry's golden magic sliding into Snape's room to cover it, too, with Harry's protection, though not surprised given Harry's nature.

"There we are, three safe rooms and privacy to use the facilities," said Snape, feeling smug. He placed his hand quite deliberately at the small of Harry's back and propelled the young man back toward his own bedroom, saying, "Why don't you pour while I do just that?"

"Oh, but I might get the full vista if I stayed," Harry protested laughingly, but he let himself be moved nonetheless.

Snape chuckled. "This particular viewing spot is closed for the moment," he said, and then added just as he closed the door, "Try again later."

Snape did his business and checked the state of himself, pleased to see his hair wasn't too greasy yet, though it would be by lunchtime if he didn't have a morning shower. He emerged to see Harry sitting cross-legged on the bed, the tray in front of him, arranged so that the obvious place for Snape to sit and eat would be next to him.

"An invitation into Harry Potter's bed," said Snape, settling into place. "This is a banner night."

Harry giggled. "Well, it was that or make you sit on my trunk," he said with a shrug. "That desk chair isn't very reliable, I'm afraid."

"More of the house's mischief?" inquired Snape, looking at it askance.

Harry shook his head, looking sheepish, mouth full of scone and cream smeared across his lips. "Jush bwok'n," he muttered.

Snape chuckled. "I am always happy to wait until you've swallowed, Harry," he said, making the comment just ambiguous enough that it could be innocent.

Harry's eyes twinkled merrily as he washed everything down with tea and finally said, "It's just broken, something structural that Winky hasn't had time to repair. Though it does resist spell-repair, so maybe it is the house after all."

They shot the chair in question twin looks of suspicion.

"We'll check it out later. Today, I think we should stick to our plans to visit the Ministry for records, and see if we can't find someone to take a look at that crystal."

The suspicious looks transferred themselves to Harry's trunk, and then their eyes met and laughter bubbled up.

"Look at us," said Harry, grinning, "two grown wizards, afraid of our own shadows."

"Well, to be fair, a shadow did just try to eat you," said Snape, though he, too, was smiling. He made up a scone and took a bite rather more neatly than Harry, which got him an amused look of chagrin.

"Who should we talk to, do you think?" asked Harry.

"Let's start with Percy Weasley," said Snape, thinking as he ate. "Unless Granger decided to go into Unspeakable training?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope, she's doing some kind of independent apprenticeship 'to be free of the hidebound thinking of the Ministry,' or so she says."

"Ah," said Snape. "Well, you might owl her about the activity, if she's been helping. Otherwise she'll be quite put out to come visit on Boxing Day only to find she missed out on all the research."

Harry laughed, nearly snorting his tea. "You did pay attention in school!"

"Of course," said Snape. "How better to assign detention than by knowing what the students love and hate?"

Harry shook his head, still chuckling. "Wicked."

"Effective," countered Snape.

They ate in silence for a bit after that, Snape contemplating their possible avenues of research while Harry apparently concentrated on getting as much food in his mouth as possible in the time allotted. Snape made sure to stake his claim on a slice of cake and some biscuits, as well as a second scone, before letting Harry devour the rest.

"So," said Snape, as Harry drained a fourth cup of tea, "Will you feel comfortable showering on your own, or do you need me to pass the soap?"

Harry gave him an amused glare and shook his head. "I'll be fine, I had mine before bed. You?"

"I think I can manage alone," said Snape, "but I'll leave the door unlocked, should your teddy bear attempt to strangle you."

"Oi, don't give the house ideas!" said Harry, eyes going up to the ceiling. "I never had one of those, but there were some creepy old toys up in the attic." He shuddered at the memory.

Snape snorted. "I am certain the house has plenty of ideas of its own," he said, draining his own tea and standing up. "If you're feeling safe and sound, I promise to be quick."

"Oh! Um, let me use the loo first?" said Harry, embarrassed.

Snape chuckled. "Yes, of course," he said, heading that way anyway. "I'll go get my boots while you do that."

"Sure you aren't angling for the full frontal?" asked Harry flirtily, legs swinging over the edge of the bed with just a hint of hesitation.

Snape gave him a dryly amused look. "I assure you, Harry, that is not one of my fetishes. I'd rather wait."

Harry laughed, fear forgotten as intended, and he followed Snape into the bathroom, shutting the connecting doors firmly after Snape proceeded into his own room.

Snape wondered how much of this flirtation would vanish on the morrow, once the 3am fear had dissipated, and resolved to keep it going as long as possible. The more Harry even jokingly thought of him as someone worth considering sexually, after all, the better a chance he had of winning Harry over to considering him seriously.

---

Bolstered with yet more tea and a full, fattening English breakfast from Winky, they headed out to the Ministry.

"I'm surprised you don't have special dispensation," said Snape dryly, as they approached the phone booth entrance. "Your own gold-plated stall in the Mens."

Harry laughed, bumping against Snape with a grin. "Nope, just plain porcelain like the other mortals," he said, crowding into the little box with Snape. They dialled, and were given the familiar silver badges before being carried down into the Ministry itself.

The Atrium was much as it had been, all marble and magic, huge fireplaces on either side for Floo travellers and everything intended to impress. "At least they haven't replaced that horrible statue," commented Snape, as they walked past the new fountain, which mostly seemed to involve some big rocks and arcing jets of water that didn't quite spray the passersby.

"It was godawful, wasn't it?" laughed Harry, and they were both smiling as they walked up to the golden gate to have their wands checked in.

After a rather loving examination of Harry's wand and a rather more suspicious one of Snape's, the guard handed them back, saying, "Mr. Weasley's been informed of your presence, he said to send you on up to level one."

"Thanks," said Harry, and they headed into one of the lifts along with a flock of other Ministry employees and were on their way. "I feel a bit guilty for not owling ahead," confessed Harry, forced enticingly close to Snape by the press of people.

Snape edged a little closer, to get away from the rather large, sweaty wizard on his other side. "I'm sure Percy won't mind," he said, though really he had no idea. The boy had been an insufferable know-it-all and stickler for the rules, but war was good for mellowing such notions.

People filtered out of the elevator at each floor, only to be replaced with paper-plane memos swirling overhead as they slowly ascended to the administration level. Snape was very amused to see more than one person spot Potter, open their mouth to speak, spot Snape and snap it shut again, which more than made up for having to stop on every floor at this hour of the day.

"Mr. Weasley, so good of you to see us," said Snape, as they stepped off the elevator and right up to a grinning Percy Weasley. He looked different than Snape remembered, not just fully adult but more relaxed and open. Perhaps the stick had been removed from his arse after all.

"Percy, you look great," said Harry, shaking his hand and grinning. "I'm sorry I didn't owl."

"You don't have to make an appointment to see me, Harry," said Percy. He offered Snape his hand as well, and Snape shook it politely. "So, you're taking over on house-taming duty with Harry?"

Snape smirked. "Yes, though for different perks than your brother was getting," he said.

Harry laughed. "Charlie'd probably say you got the better offer," said Harry wryly.

Percy got a bit pink-cheeked and flustered, and he gestured for them to walk with him. "I've got an office now, there's tea all ready, and then you can tell me what you need."

Snape became uncomfortably aware that every eye in the room was on the three of them, and nodded his agreement, falling into step. "Are you still an assistant to the Minister?" asked Snape curiously.

"Oh, yes, less junior than before, even," said Percy, looking grateful for the subject change. "After the battle, my talents for organisation came in handy." They passed into Percy's office and the door was firmly shut. "It doesn't hurt that I was always very loyal to the Ministry." He sounded almost wry, as though he'd found not all of that loyalty was well-placed.

"You did your best, just like we all did," said Harry, looking around the office. It was small, but Percy had gone to some effort to make it cosy, adding a cluster of family photos including one of Harry, Ron and Hermione, and a somewhat incongruous pot of flowers on the corner of his desk.

Percy poured and served tea in the sort of white mugs common to offices everywhere, though his sugar bowl, creamer and tea pot were clearly his own and probably secondhand, given the mismatched set.

"Milk for everyone?" Percy asked, splashing some into his and Harry's cups without waiting for the answer.

In the absence of lemon, Snape nodded, and took his tea the way they both did, a bit light, a bit sweet, and really nothing more than a warm vehicle for more caffeine. "Serviceable, thank you," said Snape, just to see Harry look amused at the almost-compliment.

"It's great, Percy, we were up half the night... Not like that, I told you, Snape requires gold for his services and I haven't yet figured out that arse-plating charm," Harry said, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Percy's ears grew a bit pinker. "We can't all be quite so single-minded," he said, and then glanced for some reason at his geraniums.

Harry's eyes followed him, and he grinned but didn't comment. Instead, he took a big gulp of tea and said, "Anyway, we're really here about the house, Severus wants to look and see if there's any plans or permits or anything to figure out when the house was..."

"Given such an unpleasant personality," said Snape, amused. "Also, we had a very unsavoury encounter last night, and I'm concerned there's at least one more Dark creature bound to the house. We don't know any of the Unspeakables, however, so perhaps we'll have to rely upon Miss Granger's research abilities for that issue."

"Oh, no, was it the attic?" asked Percy concerned.

"In a manner of speaking, it may have been," said Snape. He and Harry launched into a retelling of the incident, Harry's lurid dramatics punctuated by Snape's dry commentary.

"I'm telling you, it was sooo scary," said Harry, flopping back in his chair.

"It wasn't that scary," said Snape.

"It was bloody terrifying to me," said Harry, with a little grin that said he was enjoying their back-and-forth as much as Snape.

"You were under its power, doesn't count," said Snape, dismissively.

"I think that's rather the point," put in Percy, but he was smiling at their antics. "It does seem more like something Hermione would research than anyone I know, I never did get on much with Floor Nine."

"We'll owl her when we get home," said Harry, nodding. He finished off his mug of tea and set it down. "Anyway, can you help us on the records thing, point us the right way or something?"

"Of course I can, we'll go together, I can take an hour or two out of my morning for Harry Potter," said Percy, giving him an amused look. "I'm famous on the floor for finding things among the records, I spent a lot of time there during the war, hiding and rearranging and generally making a mess of all of it so it would be harder to persecute people."

"So now you're the one who's best qualified to straighten things out, when you can," said Snape approvingly.

Harry laughed. "That's brilliant, I always knew you had it in you."

Snape finished his own tea and stood. "I don't suppose we can take the tray with us?" he asked, looking a bit longingly at the steam still curling from the spout. He really hadn't had enough sleep.

"Hm? Oh, yes, of course, the cups are charmed unspillable so we can go wherever we like with them," said Percy, finishing his own tea and standing. He gathered all three cups onto the tray and then tapped it with his wand, and it grew half a dozen long, spindly legs and hopped off the desk, waiting impatiently by the door until they all headed out and down a little side hallway to the vast and dusty records rooms.

Tea or not, it was going to be a long morning.

---

"Not a total waste of time," said Snape as he exited the fireplace behind Harry's picturesque, well, behind.

They'd ended up treating Percy to lunch and finishing up just after two, with a small sheaf of parchment and a great deal more respect for Percy's filing skills to show for it.

"Not at all," said Harry, sounding quite pleased. "Though for a while there I thought you and Percy might never stop talking about crown mouldings."

"Their style is an important feature in dating wizarding architecture," said Snape, mock-stuffy in answer to Harry's teasing tone.

Harry giggled, looking young and carefree for just a moment. "Good thing I hired an expert, then," he said, in a tone that sounded flirty to Snape's hopeful ears.

"I'm worth every Knut," assured Snape, his own tone laden with innuendo.

Harry blushed, but didn't stop grinning. "Come on, let's see if Winky can fortify us with some more tea before we go look at every weird little nook and cranny in the place for architectural wonders."

Summoned by the mention of her name, the house elf popped into the parlour, looking a little worried. "Winky is having to be very busy with nasty bugs today, Harry Potter Master Sir, so Winky will be triple-checking the tea before she is sending it up."

"The house didn't appreciate losing its creature," said Snape ominously, feeling his good cheer starting to leech away now that they were back in its clutches. "You should owl Miss Granger right away."

Harry's grin dropped away and he sighed. "Yeah, all right, I'll go do that. Nothing's tried to mess with Hedwig so far, anyway." He handed Snape their notes from the Ministry and headed upstairs to retrieve his owl.

Snape double-checked that yesterday's notes hadn't suffered a mishap of their own, and was relieved to find nothing more than a few signs of beetle-nibbling that Winky had obviously stopped before it got very far. Snape spent a few minutes making a copy to send offsite with Hedwig, and then putting some specific warding spells on both sets of papers.

"That looks like an awful lot of parchment," said Harry dubiously, bringing the preening snowy owl into the room.

Snape chuckled. "I thought we might send a copy of our notes along with the request for assistance."

"Oh!" said Harry, laughing. He transferred Hedwig to the back of a chair and sat, snagging a sheet of blank parchment. "That's why I pay you the big bucks, I guess," he added sheepishly, snagging one of the Ever-Inking Quills they'd left with their notes and starting on a letter for Hermione.

Snape packaged up both sets of notes into conjured scroll-cases and tucked one into his robes while he shrunk the other for Hedwig. He clicked it shut and turned just in time to see Harry shaking the quill with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Aren't these supposed to be spelled against clogging?" asked Harry, annoyed.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Yes, they are, and weren't all of yours in ridiculous Gryffindor colours?" asked Snape, pointing to the green-dyed feather.

Harry's fingers let go reflexively, and their eyes followed the quill as it descended in a graceful arc toward the coffee table before exploding in a rain of ink, drenching both men and about a quarter of the room in vivid Slytherin green.

Winky appeared with a tea tray floating next to her. "Oh, dear," was all she said, and then she clapped her hands.

Snape closed his eyes and sighed, and when he opened them, the room was clean and so were his clothes, but his and Harry's face and hands were still liberally stained with green. "I don't suppose a shower will take off the rest?" asked Snape resignedly.

"Winky is not thinking so," said the elf sadly.

Harry laughed. "Of course not," he said, shaking his head. "Winky, can you bring me more parchment? We'll take care of the tea."

"Winky can be serving Master Harry Potter Sir!" she said cheerfully, vanishing while the tray floated itself onto the now-pristine table.

Snape sighed, but took over pouring duties, pleased that at least his fingers weren't leaving green smudges on everything. He could handle looking like a particularly scrawny troll for a while if that's what it took; he'd never been particularly vain.

Harry, fortunately, mostly just looked amused.

Once tea was poured, a quick check revealed that both sets of notes had survived intact thanks to Snape's paranoia. Harry retrieved one of the gaudy gold quills and tested it carefully, then started working on their missive before anything else could go wrong.

"Ta," he said distractedly when Snape put a teacup at his elbow, followed by a plate of food he was fairly sure was to Harry's taste.

Snape did a few more spells to check the whole meal, then finally allowed himself to sit and eat. "We might want to rearrange so that one of our rooms is the general base of operations, I'm not sure I can properly ward the parlour without weakening the ones on the master suite."

"Hm?" said Harry, then, "Oh, yes, all right." He wrote a few more sentences, signed the letter, then turned to say something and froze.

"What is it? Is something else wrong?" asked Snape, brows knitting as he turned to look behind him.

"No, it's just, you're. I mean, we're." Harry cracked up laughing, which drew Snape's gaze back to him.

Him, and his ridiculous green-splotched skin.

Snape couldn't help it, he, too, broke up into real, genuine laughter. Whenever one of them would start to calm, one look at the other would set him off again, until Winky appeared looking concerned.

"Is Masters having been hexed?" asked Winky dubiously.

That only made them laugh harder, until Harry gasped out, "Masters is, uh, are green!"

Winky looked from one to the other of them, shrugged, and vanished again.

They laughed until they were out of breath and sore from it, and when they finally calmed down it was with a grin lurking around both their mouths. "Well," said Snape, sipping his tea, "at least we've got something to cheer us up until it fades."

"Do you notice it, too?" asked Harry, not looking at Snape as he rearranged the things on his plate. "That the house makes you..."

"Unhappy? Yes, I had noticed it seemed to have a dampening effect on my moods, and that you seemed quite dejected as well, though having just lost your Weasley paramour could have accounted for the latter."

Harry chuckles. "Yeah, I thought it was that, but then today we were in the Ministry of all places and I just felt... better."

"As did I," said Snape, nodding. "We'll add it to the list of the house's arsenal."

"I'm half afraid to get our notes out," said Harry with a chuckle, and instead Snape snagged a fresh sheet of parchment while Harry tied the scroll-case and letter to Hedwig's leg. "Actually there's a whole set of mood things going on if you think about it, the attic and yard were scary, the library's sort of disarming, that's how it gets you close to the railings..."

"But this parlour is most definitely depressing," said Snape, looking around the little room.

Harry laughed. "Yeah, it is," he agreed, getting up to let Hedwig out the little owl-window over by the writing desk. "Your suggestion's a good one, we'll set up in my room, banish the broken chair and have Winky move in a few proper ones, expand that little writing desk... It's nice in there, now you've warded it."

"We," corrected Snape, remembering the feel of Harry's golden magic warming and strengthening his own cool strands of power.

"I suppose I did help," said Harry shyly. "Oh, hey, the blinds are down again."

Snape waved his wand at the blinds, but this time they resolutely stayed down. "I sense another prank coming on," said Snape, instead levitating their cups and plates onto the larger tray of food, glad that at least the owl was off. "Shall we take the better part of valour?" He gathered up the remaining parchment and quills into a bundle and stuck them in a pocket.

"Tactical retreat sounds really good about now," said Harry, looking around with a paranoid expression that was rather adorable, given the uneven green of his skin.

Winky appeared unsummoned and took over the task of transferring their meal upstairs, while Snape and Harry backed out of the room together, wands drawn.

That was, of course, why the surprise was in the hallway.

The first hint that something was awry was the whisper-soft brush against the back of Snape's hand, of a single cobweb clinging. Snape whirled, only to be faced not with a single spider but dozens, hundreds, the entire hallway festooned with silken strands and tiny black bodies busily building more. A glance down showed him one already crawling onto his boot, and he couldn't hold back a, "Gah!" as he flung the thing off into the distance. "<em>Evanesco</em>!" followed up, withering webs and destroying spiders as it sliced down the hallway.

Harry finally turned and he, too, let out a wordless cry of horror. He cast his own <em>Evanesco</em> and then laughed wryly. "At least Ron's not here," he said, casting a shielding charm above them that halted a disturbing number of spiders that had been trying to drop down onto their heads.

"I take it he's not fond of spiders?" said Snape, casting again and again, trying to remember if he knew any good spells for spiders. They so rarely showed up in more than ones and twos that there weren't specific ones to repel them like there were with ants or fireflies, at least nothing common enough for Snape to know it.

"Winky!" yelled Harry, and then he began casting more earnestly. Deprived of their descent from above, the spiders were renewing their efforts to invade from below, and no amount of stomping could get them all. "He's really not."

"I can see his point," said Snape, trying out a few of the more obscure vermin-repelling spells he knew and pushing back the wave a few feet. "Winky!"

"Winky is- Oh, no!" said Winky, popping into the middle of the chaos and immediately clapping her hands. The spiders went still, and with another gesture from the house elf they and their webs vanished completely, leaving the hallway clear but for a few scorch marks where a spell had hit a wall or ceiling. "Bad house, bad house!"

Snape wasted no time dragging Harry upstairs to the warded rooms, his skin crawling with the need to make sure there were no spiders in his clothing. "Showers?" he suggested, opening the door to his room since it was closer.

"God, yes," said Harry, giving a little shudder. "I'll go first, please? I promise to tell you about Aragog after."

"Yes, all right, but make sure your clothing is clear before you leave it for me to find," said Snape, shoving Harry toward the bathroom door.

He had a strange sensation on one shoulder he wanted to see to <em>right now</em>.

"Yes, all right, going," said Harry, pulling his shirt overhead and revealing a spider-free and rather fit torso before closing the door. From the back, Snape couldn't even see much green.

Snape began to strip off frantically, conjuring mirrors to be sure there was nothing left, though any remaining spiders should have been destroyed as they walked through the wards. The house was nothing if not persistent, so Snape had wanted to be very sure. He cast a few more vermin-repelling spells on his shoes and clothing, then left the whole pile for Winky and slipped on a dressing gown as he paced, waiting for Harry to finish washing up.

He was amused to note that his robes had prevented the green ink from getting on his own body, so it was only his hands, face and neck that were still streaked with it.

A waft of steam preceded Harry's damp green head and naked pink shoulder. "All yours," said Harry with a sheepish green grin.

Snape chuckled. "We really are going to have to hope it wears off, aren't we?" he said wryly, stepping toward the door."

"Uh, just let me get to my room," said Harry, though it was hard to tell if he was blushing under the ink as he vanished from sight.

Snape's eyebrow went up, amused that Harry would talk to him at all while still nude. He heard the far door open and close, and went into the bathroom for his own very thorough shower. Clean everything and fresh clothing later, and Snape was feeling much better, if no pinker.

"I am dreading Miss Granger's inevitable commentary on our current coloration," said Snape, once again reunited with Harry. Winky had indeed sent their food up to Harry's room before going to deal with the spider infestation, and Snape found he was ravenous after all the excitement.

"Perhaps she'll think we're just being festive?" said Harry with a chuckle. "I could wear a red shirt."

"I am not dressing like a Christmas tree," said Snape dolefully, just to watch Harry crack up laughing.

"Oh, but you'd look so fetching with a star on your head," said Harry, between helpless giggles.

"We could spell your hair green, it already looks a bit like pine boughs," teased Snape, reaching out to ruffle the damp, messy strands. It was mostly dry now, and softer than Snape expected. Hard to stop touching, though he made himself do it, withdrawing his hand as naturally as he could. "Maybe a pair of Miss Lovegood's earrings to act as baubles?"

The touch had made Harry's breath catch and laughter stutter, but the image conjured by Snape's words set him off again, as intended. Snape let the laughter catch him up, too, and relieve some of the tension from their earlier encounters. Eventually they slowed down and ate, and Harry even told him the story about Aragog, yet another tale of Harry's boyhood that made Snape wonder how he'd ever lived to be an adult.

"I never thought you'd be like this," said Harry, as they were pouring out the last of the tea. "I couldn't have imagined laughing with you, when I was eleven."

"Nor should you have, when you were eleven," said Snape dryly.

Harry chuckled. "I couldn't have even two weeks ago, before I hired you," he said. "You're different now."

"As you have observed," said Snape, "my life is vastly different. I can make jokes with my employer without worrying about painful repercussions down the line."

"Yeah," said Harry, going sober and a bit sad. "We all have really different lives now."

"Better lives," said Snape, and he grinned a bit wickedly as he added, "even with your mad house."

"Yeah, all right, better," said Harry with a weak laugh.

"Shall we work on continuing improvements? That chair could definitely go, and I'm certain Winky will help us find furniture that can be moved from other rooms to make this one more useful," suggested Snape, draining the last of his tea.

Harry called Winky, and they spent the rest of the afternoon and evening getting the rooms rearranged to be more useful. They ended up setting up Snape's with another duplicated set of notes up on one wall and its larger desk for working, and then getting rid of the desk from Harry's room along with its chair and setting that up with a table for them to eat proper meals. Snape wasn't sure where Winky was getting the furniture, but as long as it arrived vermin-free, he didn't much mind.

As they were getting ready for bed, sharing the bathroom for brushing teeth and washing faces, Harry said shyly, "I almost suggested putting both beds in one room."

Snape rinsed his mouth of toothpaste. "If we both sleep poorly tonight, worried about the various evils to be visited upon us in our sleep, then perhaps we'll try that tomorrow." He had a moment of wanting very badly to suggest they just share a bed, but now wasn't the time. Harry was vulnerable and off-balance from the Maere's attack and the house's increase in viciousness, and Snape wanted him to be using his full faculties when and if he consented to share Snape's bed.

He also wanted them both to be naked.

"Could we maybe leave the bathroom doors open? I mean, when no one's using it..." asked Harry.

Snape smiled. "Yes, of course, that's a good idea."

Harry relaxed and smiled back, then went back to flossing his teeth while Snape washed his face. It felt very domestic and comfortable, and also a bit like putting the cart before the horse while the horse was still a colt.

Snape let himself enjoy it, anyway. Especially since they were both still dyed green.

---

They actually managed to get a good night's sleep, at least until the house started tossing mice at the wards a bit after dawn just to make them go off. Snape had been rather amused to find that it was literal tossing, when he'd opened his door he'd seen some poor conjured rodent come flying at the opening, only to get zapped back into nothingness by the wards. The wards would chirp a little alarm for every zap, which was just annoying enough to wake Snape and Harry both.

"Mice, huh?" asked Harry, sidling up next to Snape. He chuckled sleepily as another rodent appeared midair, hurtling toward the doorway only to vanish with another chirruping alarm-nose.

"Apparently so," said Snape dryly, closing the door. "I'll have first shower?"

"I'll see if Winky's up to bring us breakfast," said Harry, still sounding amused.

"After you, then," said Snape, moving to his wardrobe for his dressing gown. "Will we be working in the house today or out of it?"

"In, I think," said Harry. "We haven't even checked out the attic yet, together."

"True," said Snape, pulling out warm work clothes for the day, laying them on the bed with clean socks and pants on top. "All right, I'll dress for that."

Harry chuckled. "Not going for green?" he asked impishly. They were both still tinged with green, though they'd faded unattractively overnight into rather leprous-looking splotches.

"Only if you're wearing red," said Snape, smirking as he sent a spell to transfigure his own pants to a nice forest green.

Harry laughed and shook his head, then vanished through the bathroom, closing the door on his own side. Snape stripped off and headed into the bathroom to do his morning shower, making quick work of it given their planned agenda. He was tempted to copy Harry's tease of last night and peek around the door naked, but Snape donned his dressing gown before opening the door to Harry's room.

"All yours," said Snape, pleased to note that there was already tea steaming on their little dining table.

"I'll be quick," said Harry.

Snape retreated to his own room, closing the door, and then took time to change. In a fit of whimsy he left his pants green, though everything else was his usual unrelenting black.

Harry peeked around the doorway as Snape was just buttoning his waistcoat, once again enticingly nude. "Just give me a minute to dress, and then come through for breakfast?"

Snape smirked. "I suppose, if you're not going to be on the menu, I can wait."

Harry laughed and vanished again, and Snape grabbed some parchment and quills to do a little planning before they emerged from their safe little cocoon and into the main house.

At least the house had stopped flinging mice at the wards.

---

They decided to start with the attic, steeling themselves to face the dread head-on rather than avoiding it any longer. It was rather anticlimactic when the stairs came down and there was no more than the usual amount of trepidation at trusting one's weight to anything in this house.

"Interesting," said Snape, taking the lead as employee and heading into possible danger first.

The attic had the expected quantities of cobwebs and dust, with light slanting in from tiny windows around the magically enlarged space. What it didn't have was any increased sense of lurking danger or being watched.

Harry came up and looked around, too. "What's interesting?" he asked.

"I don't feel the same foreboding I did last time we approached the attic," said Snape. He tossed a few <em>Lumos</em> spells up into the rafters, which sent the spiders scurrying but otherwise didn't do much but shed some light on the generations' worth of stored objects.

"Me, neither, it's almost inviting now," said Harry, looking around. "I wonder if there's any organisation?"

"Let's find out," said Snape, stepping toward one of the windows along the little path between piles of clutter. They passed furniture, art, old trunks and wardrobes and china hutches complete with china, the faint tingle of preservation spells on most of it, though a few things showed a distinct lack.

"Right," said Harry, stopping in front of a large, dark double-doored wardrobe just to the right of the little round window. "Start here?"

"Start here," said Snape. "I'll open it, you remember the spell for boggarts?"

Harry laughed. "Right, wardrobe, this house... I remember." Harry stepped back and drew his wand, and Snape opened the door.

A corpse toppled out, the pathetic figure of some dead house-elf wearing about three dozen pairs of socks from the look of him, and Harry blanched.

"Boggart?" asked Snape, stepping away.

"<em>Riddikulus</em>!" cried Harry, which was answer enough.

The boggart writhed, turning its attention onto Snape and slithering into a familiar reptilian form. Snape cast, and then Harry did again, and between the two of them it ended up in the form of the snake tied in a bow around the neck of the Dark Lord, who was the size of a house elf.

Snape couldn't help but laugh, as did Harry, and it didn't take long before the creature was banished completely.

"Well, that was a start," said Harry, still chuckling.

Snape smirked. "Always good to start with a smile." He opened the other door, wide, and cast another <em>Lumos</em> directly above and behind them. "No other nasty surprises so far," said Snape, amused.

They stepped forward together and began looking through the things for something to identify them. The clothes were old-fashioned even for wizarding wear, masculine and fairly fine, though some of them were well-worn and mended. There was a row of drawers on the right-hand side, in which there was the predictable assortment of underthings. The top drawer held a box and a packet of letters, so Harry took the former while Snape looked through the latter.

"Looks like one of the many Sirius Blacks, I'd guess the second-earliest one on the tapestry from the style of clothes and dates on the letters," said Snape, putting them back. "They appear to be correspondence regarding an arranged marriage, which was common among purebloods at the time."

"Boring," said Harry. "This is all cufflinks and stuff," he said, showing Snape the tidy box of mens jewellery, mostly made of engraved or cast metals with very few gemstones.

"None of it looks particularly valuable, which is likely why it's up here and not in a vault somewhere," said Snape, putting box and letters away and closing up the wardrobe. "Let's see about this," he said, moving to the trunk below the window.

They spent a long morning that way, with Winky popping midway with drinks and a light snack to keep them going, and found mostly personal belongings of the deceased, which had been stored up here wholesale, minus valuables. They headed down, dusty but encouraged, to have a nice hearty lunch in Harry's room.

"If I had to guess," said Snape, "I'd say they just enlarged part of the room when someone died, and put all their stuff there, then did the same whenever they redecorated, without ever looking at what was already there." Snape took a bite of his food, a wonderfully mundane bacon butty with plenty of butter and bacon, which had arrived with cold water, hot tea, and a nice fruit salad.

Harry chuckled. "Makes sense, and that's why there's some portraits up there of people they don't like anymore." He nibbled on a bit of fruit, mind clearly still in the attic.

"Maybe we should try to swap them out," said Snape dryly. "Portraits that the previous occupants found distasteful might be excellent company."

"Ooh, and the house might let us change them!" said Harry, looking pleased. "Actually there's a few things I spotted up there that might go with my plans, furniture and things."

"Just so," said Snape, making a note on the parchment they'd use that morning. "Perhaps this afternoon we can get Winky to help us swap out a few things?"

"We'll ask her, once we've finished this excellent meal," said Snape, taking another nice big bite of bacon.

Harry chuckled and took a bite of his own sandwich. He was a little tentative until he got a good taste, and then he made a happy noise and took another, bigger bite. "S'good!" he declared, mouth still full.

Snape chuckled. "I hope you don't always talk with your mouth full," said Snape, his tone making the comment into innuendo.

Harry swallowed, then cracked up laughing. "No fair while I'm eating!"

"It is a very good bacon butty," said Snape agreeably, taking another big bite. He'd have the fruit after, for now he wanted to enjoy the unexpected treat whole hog, as it were.

Harry chuckled and took a nice big sip of water. "You should talk, anyway, you're the one with the sharp tongue."

Snape smirked and took another bite of his sandwich, chewed and swallowed, then said, "A talented tongue is always an asset."

Harry blushed.

Snape chalked it up to a win and changed the subject again, this time to Harry's holiday plans. They were now less than two weeks from Christmas, and they talked about gift-giving and any parties Harry might be expected to attend, decorations he might like, and other such things.

"Perhaps we can find some decorations in the attic," said Snape, "that would please the house to restore."

"We'll spend the afternoon up there, maybe see if Winky can help us get more light," said Harry happily, sipping his tea now that the food was devoured.

Snape grinned and finished off his cup. "I think that's our cue, though perhaps your lovely elf would supply us with more tea while we work?"

"Winky is thinking Masters might like hot apple cider," said Winky, appearing next to Snape with a tray. "Winky is anticipating."

"Why, thank you," said Snape, surprised. The tray had two steaming mugs, an insulated pitcher, and an assortment of biscuits on it, the perfect thing to sustain them upstairs. "Can you also help us with more light in the attic while we work?"

It had grown darker outside as they ate, a snowstorm blowing in with the first few flakes already fluttering against the windows, and that would drastically reduce the ambient light in the attic.

"Winky is trying, but beetles is being everywhere today!" she replied, sounding very annoyed indeed. "Winky hopes Masters are fixing things very soon," she muttered before vanishing, leaving the tray floating in the empty air.

"Shall we?" said Snape, standing.

Harry finished off his tea and nodded. "Yeah, at least maybe the snow'll be pretty up there?"

Snape wasn't sure what to say to that, so he just put one hand on the small of Harry's back, guiding him out of the room. The tray followed, though it needed a hand to get through the wards, and soon enough they were back in the attic.

They found very little of actual monetary value up there, the Blacks having kept everything of that sort in Gringotts for generations, but there was a lot of interest regardless. There were old magical devices that were rare or just not often used these days, portraits that could be tickled from long slumber for a chat, and a lot of very out-of-date clothing. Harry had a tendency to get caught up talking to his godfather's ancestors, but Snape never ventured very far. He found a hutch full of beautiful holiday china hidden behind a couple of empty, mouse-nibbled picture frames.

"Are you planning to do any holiday entertaining?" asked Snape, hesitant to disturb the spell on it for a closer look.

"Not this year, why- oh. That's nice, isn't it?" said Harry, stepping a bit closer. "Best leave it preserved, though."

"Yes, that was my thought," said Snape. "Next year, perhaps."

Harry chuckled. "Or I suppose I could save it for Teddy, I've been thinking that some of this ought to go to him, since his grandma's a Black."

"From godfather to godson to godson and back into the Black line," said Snape, amused. "The vault will be a better place to look, though I suppose Teddy might want to live here when he's older, as well. It's more centrally located than Andromeda's house."

Harry chuckled. "He's not been, I mean, he's only two," he said sheepishly. "I didn't want to expose him to the house."

"Perhaps we'll find some toys to send him, though? There's bound to be something here we could spruce up that would have a bit of family history," said Snape, moving away from the aisle they were in, which was mostly portraits and furniture, clearly from a redecorating binge. "Have Winky take down that portrait, if you've made another friend," said Snape, nodding to the one that was shyly waving at them. The other two Harry'd tried to chat up were stuffy old men that looked like they smelled something bad, and had asked to have their preservation-charmed sheets replaced.

"Oh! Yes, of course," said Harry, calling Winky and dealing with it.

Snape went poking about for a more likely section of the attic, making sure to keep within the halo of their <em>Lumos</em> spells. He ended up standing in front of a small, circular window rimed with frost, transfixed by the sight of snow piling on the sill outside and continuing to fall, turning the back garden innocently white. It covered all the odious plants and bare earth and made it seem like it was truly just dormant for the winter, waiting for new life.

After a time, Snape realised Harry was beside him, looking out. "It's really nice," said Harry, reaching out to touch the cold glass. "Beautiful, this house is almost never beautiful for me."

"It will be," said Snape, laying a hand on Harry's shoulder, then turning to watch the snow fall a bit more. "We just have to find a way to make it realise you just want it to be lived in again."

Harry chuckled wryly. "Lived in by the wrong sort of people, though," he said, wistful rather than angry. "I guess I'm not really anyone's sort of people, these days."

"Nonsense," said Snape. "You're my sort, and Percy's, and I'm certain Hedwig will return with news that Ron and Hermione are eager to assist you in any way they can."

"I am? Your sort, I mean?" said Harry, turning to look at Snape's face.

It was all Snape could do not to just kiss him right there. "Yes, you are," said Snape firmly. Then he paused for a heartbeat, smirked, and said, "Well, you are now."

Harry laughed. "Not when I was fifteen and spotty, though."

"No, not then," said Snape, glad to have broken Harry's mood without spoiling whatever was slowly blossoming between them. He could tell that if he pushed too soon, it would be too fragile to survive, but if he waited too long it would wither and die on the vine.

"So, what were you looking for over here, anyway?" asked Harry, after another long moment of peaceful silence.

Snape smiled. "Small furniture, which might indicate where outgrown toys had also ended up." He gestured toward a group of child-sized chairs and table, next to a trunk that had once been brightly painted, and a large something under a sheet. "Shall we?"

They pulled off the sheet and Snape instantly regretted it. Beneath was a glass-fronted cabinet like so many they'd seen, but this one contained a collection of exquisite antique porcelain dolls. Their glassy eyes stared blankly out at Snape and Harry as if annoyed to be disturbed in their rest.

"Teddy is not getting one of those," said Harry with a shudder.

Snape laughed. "I agree. On the other hand, this furniture set is quite sturdy-looking," he said, drawing Harry's attention away from the creepy doll collection.

They cast a few charms and looked it over, then had Winky take the whole set down to be cleaned and restored as the start of a little play area for Teddy's eventual visit. Looking through the trunk of toys showed mostly that they hadn't been well-preserved, and they moved on to another part of the attic, taking their lights with them. They did find a few promising toys of a far more normal nature, and the dolls, like so many other things they'd uncovered in the attic, were soon forgotten.

---

One more portrait was sent down, and Winky reported success in swapping them out with others of the Black family, though not, unfortunately, the portrait of Walburga in the hall. Snape managed to go through several sections while Harry was chatting up portraits, mostly finding more antique clothing and trunks full of knickknacks. He sent a few more promising magical artefacts downstairs with the house elf, though they all three agreed it was wisest not to take anything into the warded area that hadn't been more thoroughly examined.

It was dusty work, but satisfying, and eventually they did manage to find a few potential items for Teddy, and a very nice silver tea set that had gone to tarnish and been sent up rather than cleaned.

"That was quite productive," said Snape, checking the hallway before descending the ladder when it came time to stop for dinner.

"I agree," said Harry, following him and giving a rather nice view as he descended. "Though I'm not sure it falls under your job description, I appreciate you helping."

"Nonsense, you hired me to make your home more inviting, and you've already got two friendly portraits and the beginnings of a play area for your godson, which seems more inviting to me," said Snape. He pulled out his wand and spelled dust off his robes for what felt like the millionth time that day, then did the same for Harry.

Harry grinned, all charming and lopsided, reaching up to pluck a bit of flotsam from Snape's hair in an oddly intimate gesture. "I'm not used to you arguing for things that make my life nicer," he said teasingly.

Snape had to swallow twice before he could answer. "Well, I'm less concerned with keeping up appearances these days."

"Then why is it you look so much better?" replied Harry, looking very impish and slightly triumphant.

Snape felt colour bloom on his cheeks. "Clean living," he said wryly, then managed to rally and add, "Which doesn't explain how you grew up so fit, since I've seen your diet."

Harry cracked up laughing, as he'd been meant to, though a bit of a blush did stain his cheeks. "I'll have you know all that bacon was perfectly clean when I ate it."

They both laughed that time, and Snape felt another tendril of warm feeling for this new, more mature Harry Potter lodge firmly in his heart. If he wasn't careful, he'd be lost before he even figured out if Harry was interested in being won.

"What's that?" said Harry, suddenly looking more alert.

"What's what?" said Snape, turning, wand still out, eyes taking in the hallway from floor to ceiling, especially the dark opening to the now-deserted attic.

Harry shook his head. "Nothing, sorry, I just thought I heard someone. Must've been one of the portraits further down the hall."

Snape nodded, though he also took the time to make sure the ladder was up and the trapdoor firmly shut. "Let's go visit your two new acquisitions and see how they're getting on amongst the rest," suggested Snape. "We don't want the house to think it can keep us trapped in our rooms forever."

Harry nodded, pulling out his own wand and twirling it with studied casualness. "Sounds good, I think Winky said they were both down on the guest floor."

They headed down, with Harry in the lead and Snape guarding his rear. If he didn't know the house was perfectly capable of conjuring threats out of thin air and then banishing them again, Snape would've felt paranoid about all the little hints of movement he kept spotting. Always out of the corner of his eye and gone when he looked at things head-on, he was reminded of the annoying Muggle legends about magic beings one could only see when looked at sidelong.

"Beetles," said Harry, once they'd made the downstairs corridor. "Winky said it was beetles today."

"Right, beetles," said Snape, relaxing just a little. The tiny, irritating creatures could blend in with the shadows and wallpaper.

He put the beetles and the movement out of his mind as they stepped up to the first portrait, a middle-aged matron with a stern look about her and a wicked sense of humor named Isla Shropshire, nee Black.

"How are you enjoying your new wall?" asked Harry, glancing up and down the hall.

"It's nice to be out of that attic, though it's a bit stuffy down here, too, isn't it?" she said, glancing to her left. "Though I suppose that's what got me sent upstairs in the first place."

"Well, you're back now," said Harry. "We'll find some more portraits you can get along with upstairs, I hope."

"There was one of grandfather Argus I remember as a girl, I'm not sure where he ended up," said Isla. "We'd only started storing things up in the attic back then, but he and my brother got in a terrible fight after my marriage, and I haven't seen him since."

"I don't remember an Argus on the family tree," said Snape curiously.

"Oh, my idiot brother started that thing with himself, is it still there? It must be quite big by now," said Isla curiously.

"Yes, it is, though there's some names that've been hexed off," said Harry apologetically. "Maybe you're the burnt spot up at the top?"

Isla laughed. "That'd be just his style, yes, I'm probably just a scorch mark next to Elladora, assuming she stayed in his good graces."

"I do recall her up at the top, yes," said Snape, highly amused. "We haven't found a way to take the tapestry down yet, though Harry would like to do something else with that wall."

"The beetles never so much as nibble it," said Harry with a sigh. "Anyway, we'll take you in there to see it sometime, there's no portraits to visit in that room."

"As if I'd want to visit most of these frames," she said wryly. "But thank you, that would be nice."

They moved on after a few more pleasantries, going past some very grumpy-looking Blacks until they came across Harry's other new friend, a youngish fellow named Aloysius Burke. "And how are you enjoying your new home?" asked Harry. "Have you met Isla yet?"

Aloysius laughed. "It's not too bad down here, though it's pretty much all from Mum's side of the family, I guess. They always were full of their own breeding, though Mrs. Shropshire seems nice enough."

"She's another one we unearthed from the attic," said Snape. "Harry tells me you were never hung, just sent straight up to the attic?"

"That's right, I wasn't really a Black by name, so up I went. I don't think they really wanted a portrait anyway, but mother insisted," he said with a sigh. "When I was awake, I sometimes wondered if there were more of my frames out there, but the preservation spells kept us in our places."

Snape nodded, and they made a bit more polite chitchat, finding Aloysius an affable young man, although a bit old-fashioned. "That wasn't so bad," said Harry, leading the way back upstairs to their warded rooms for dinner.

"Nothing like a talk with Walburga, anyway," said Snape dryly.

They both came to an abrupt halt at the top of the stairs. Leaning against the wall between Snape's door and Harry's was one of the dolls from upstairs, its empty eyes staring up at them from where it listed lifelessly against the baseboard.

"I thought we agreed to leave those upstairs?" said Snape, annoyed by his own reluctance to step any closer to the thing.

"We did," said Harry. He, too, seemed unwilling move further into the hallway.

Snape sighed. "Apparently the portraits aren't the only thing being kept in the attic," he said irritably, then he pulled out his wand, which had been tucked away to talk to the portraits, and Banished the thing back where it came from. "Tomorrow, we'll make more effort to restore the spells on certain objects."

Harry laughed, sounding far more relieved than the removal of a single doll ought to account for. "Yeah, good idea."

They moved together down the hall, alert for any more shenanigans from the house, then slipped together into the warmth of their own protective magics. Snape checked the integrity of the wards while Harry asked for dinner, and then their eyes met and they found themselves laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"How is it we managed to kill the shadow creature out of nightmares, but were both too scared of a doll to walk past it?" said Harry, when they'd both calmed.

Snape chuckled and shook his head. "Some sorts of fear are easier to turn to bravery than others, I suppose."

Harry looked surprised, then thoughtful. "I guess that's true," he said, then added after a pause, "She might've bitten our ankles something awful."

Snape's lips twitched, but he managed to hold in a laugh as he replied, "I've got boots on, only your ankles were really endangered."

Their gazes met and they cracked up laughing again, and didn't stop this time until Winky appeared with dinner and a look that suggested that perhaps her new masters weren't as much less crazy as the old ones as she'd originally hoped.

Dinner was a nice, sustaining beef stew with warm bread and two little bowls of salad, all of it fresh and good. "I think Winky approves of you," said Harry between bites.

Snape looked curious. "Why do you say that?" he asked. With the food had also come cups of hot mulled wine that never seemed to run out, and he took an appreciative sip.

Harry grinned. "She never fed Charlie half so well," he teased, taking a sip of his own wine.

"Charlie clearly had terrible taste, to choose Romania over you," replied Snape, with as much dignity as he could muster. "Perhaps she knew all along he'd never appreciate the finer things."

Harry chuckled wryly. "I'm not sure I count as one of the finer things, but thanks."

"Oh, I assure you, you are quite fine, Harry," said Snape, his voice a low purr.

Harry blushed.

Snape toasted him with his cup of wine, and Harry clinked reflexively. "To the finer things in life, and being allowed to enjoy them as we like."

Harry grinned, shy but pleased. "To making the best of what we've got until it's very good indeed," he responded, and they both took a nice long swig of the warm, sweet drink.

That turned the subject back to the house and the progress they were making. Both Snape and Harry felt in need of an evening's rest, so they agreed to stay hidden in their little sanctuary and let poor Winky deal with the house's antics for a bit. Snape theorized that the increase in activity was a reaction of the house to being warded off from part of itself, which he'd inadvertently set off with his original night-wards.

"That might be the case," said Harry thoughtfully. "Though that makes me wonder what would happen if we could start warding more rooms. At what point would we warding the house in with us?"

Snape nodded. "It does seem to speak to a central malevolence rather than a diffuse presence," he said.

Harry nodded, too, a bit too enthusiastically. "Right! So if it's a curse or an object or whatever, then we can break it instead of having to, I dunno, raze the place and start over."

The house creaked ominously. "Yes, we will leave the structure of the house intact," said Snape, glancing around with as much alarm as he could muster through the warm muddle of wine. He did wonder how much they'd each drunk from the self-filling cups, but the question seemed as slippery and distant as the rest of it.

"I wonder if there's pudding?" said Harry, showing just as much power of concentration as Snape.

"Perhaps pudding and tea. Or even coffee," said Snape. "I fear I've had a bit too much wine."

Harry giggled endearingly. "Pudding and tea, Winky, if you please!" He fixed Snape with a rather flirty look and said, "Don't want to sober up too fast, that'd be boring."

The remains of their meal vanished, though the wine cups stayed, and a few moments later a full tea set replaced it, followed by a pair of adorable little yule log tortes. They had chocolate frosting bark and powdered sugar snow, mushrooms made of baked meringues dusted with cocoa, and even little candy holly leaves and berries. "I do believe Winky is getting into the Christmas spirit," said Snape, a bit bemused. Further examination showed the tea set to be from the holiday china they'd unearthed upstairs, with a pattern of holly and lovely gilt edges.

Harry looked utterly delighted. "I do love Christmas, I have since Hogwarts," he said carelessly, peering into the teapot to see if it was brewed. He inhaled deeply and said, "Oh, it's some sort of winter spice tea!"

"That sounds lovely," said Snape. "Shall I pour?"

"I'm not that drunk," said Harry with a laugh, though the slightly glazed look of his eyes might argue otherwise. He managed to hit the cups just fine, though, adding sugar and milk to his own and passing Snape's over black. "Not sure this would be any good with lemon."

Snape took a good whiff of the steam. "No, it will be fine like this." He took a sip and let out a soft, satisfied sigh at the subtle blend of tea, fruit and spice. "Whoever bought this had excellent taste, so thank you, Winky."

In response, a small candleabra appeared to one side of the table, the base curled round with fresh evergreen.

"Apparently, you're very welcome," said Harry with a grin.

"Apparently so," said Snape, bemused. He'd never really won favour with the house elves at Hogwarts, too many secrets for too many masters, and too much taking his spleen out on their beloved students. He'd seen some of the faculty getting little treats like this around the holidays, though, and wondered how he'd managed to earn Winky's regard.

"From me, too. By me, I guess? You're welcome here, I mean. It's just the house that hasn't caught up yet," said Harry. He covered up his awkwardness by digging into his torte, taking a nice big bite of cake and frosting.

"I'm very glad to be here," said Snape, pleased to have won at least some measure of Harry's regard as well for his efforts. He felt his cheeks, already pink from the wine, growing  just a bit warmer, and he busied himself with his own cake. He plucked off a mushroom and nibbled at the edges, pleased with the delicate vanilla and almond flavor in the meringue. "Your house elf can really cook when she's of a mind to," he added, after letting the whole thing dissolve in his mouth.

Harry grinned. "I know, I got lucky that way. The way to my heart always was through my stomach."

Snape chuckled. "I shall keep that in mind for the future," he said, indulging himself in just a bit more flirtation.

"And what's the way to your heart, then?" asked Harry, flirting right back.

Snape opened his mouth to answer, but he was interrupted by a shrill wailing from the wards. They both sprang from their seats, slightly unsteady, and opened Harry's door to find another of the attic dolls slumped against the wards. Its lacy-and-satin dress was faded to a soft grey with age, and its hair was a bit thin in the back, the blonde curls frizzing, its posture listing to one side as though a child had rested it against the door for just a moment. Snape could see its weight slowly fraying the magic, which was visible where it supported the doll's body, and it took him a moment to find the words to Banish this one back to the attic.

"Well, now I'm definitely sober," said Harry with a nervous laugh.

Snape closed the door firmly. "Good thing there's wine left, then," he said, determined not to let the house spoil what had been a perfectly good evening.

At least, until the wards went off again. This time they had to run through the bathroom to Snape's room, where a pair of twin dolls in matching antique boy-and-girl Hogwarts uniforms were pressing at the door wards. They were slumped facing into the room this time, staring up at Snape and Harry with their unblinking glass eyes in matching shades of watery blue. This time Harry Banished them with a shudder.

"So," said Harry, staring at the empty space, "Maybe we should just sleep in one room after all?"

While it was gratifying to realize Harry found the dolls as unnerving as he, Snape hadn't really wanted this to be the way he got invited into Harry's bedroom for a night. "It will be hard to move either bed around, but we might be able to manage by shrinking it," said Snape.

"Maybe the house is secretly just a really heavy-handed matchmaker?" said Harry, giggling, "I mean, there have got to be easier ways to lure you into my bed."

Snape's eyes went wide, but he couldn't help chuckling. "Asking would probably have worked even before this, and it will definitely work now if you don't mind sharing."

Harry's breath caught, but whatever he might have said was interrupted yet again by the wards, this time the sound in stereo as the house went after both doors at once. Harry yelped and ran into his room, and there was the sound of a Banishment spell just after Snape performed his own. Only one doll, this time, but it had had its chubby white porcelain hands pressed against the ward-magic as if trying to find the weak spot created by its predecessors.

"So, we'll be moving your things in here," called Harry.

"So it seems," agreed Snape dryly. "Winky, if you could assist?"

The house elf popped in, and the next half hour was spent rearranging yet again in between Banishing dolls back to the attic. The house seemed to be getting smarter. At Snape's door, their little hands and faces were pressing against the same spot every time, trying to wear the magic thin. They showed up at Harry's door suspended from above, draped across the lintel like a draft-blocker, tossed into the middle of the doorway, and frozen eerily mid-climb up the doorjamb.

When they finally closed and locked the door from Snape's room to the bathroom, it was a relief to sit and talk for a moment about shrinking and strengthening the wards. "I think we should build in something to Banish the dolls," said Snape. "Otherwise it will just keep us up all night with them, the same way it did this morning with the mice."

"I'm just glad your spell's good enough they haven't found a way in yet," said Harry, eyes a bit wild after the last doll.

"When we redo it, we'll build on the old spell so there's no chance for the house to sneak something in while we're occupied," assured Snape. "Come on, let's have a bit of tea and plan exactly what we want, so the spell doesn't go awry."

Winky had already refilled their pot of tea, and left the wine and cakes as well to tempt them. Snape got out a fresh bit of parchment, and they traded the quill back and forth making notes while they drank spiced tea and ate their yule logs, the festive atmosphere blunted but not entirely lost.

"All right, I think we've got it," said Harry, leaning back to pop his last little meringue mushroom into his mouth. "We want the wards to keep bad things out, let good things in, Banish anything that touches them to the attic, and sound an alarm when things try to get in and can't be Banished."

"Succinct, and we're agreed on the definitions of good and bad," said Snape, tapping the parchment where they'd made notes on that, as well. "Shall we?"

Harry took a deep breath, then huffed it out in a laugh. "Let me finish my tea," he said, swirling around the half-full cup before taking a sip.

"Of course," said Snape, draining his own. He got out his wand and spent a moment with a serviette polishing away the day's accumulation of fingerprints and grime with long, gentle strokes. When he was done, he looked up to find Harry's cheeks a bit pink, and he smirked. "Ready for the warding?"

Harry flushed a little more, then downed his last sip of tea. "Ready," he said, pulling out his own wand with a little flourish. "On three?"

Snape nodded, and then stood with Harry, the two of them near the middle of the room, facing each other but slightly offset so they were really looking past one another to the room itself. "Don't forget to include the loo," Snape teased.

"Don't worry, it's my next stop," replied Harry dryly. "One, two, three!"

Their wands moved in concert this time, the incantation silent but the motions like a dance as they wove their magics together. Harry's gold and Snape's silver shimmered and strengthened, and Snape could feel them contracting, leaving the old room bare but adding an extra layer of safety and stability to the rest of the little suite. The fabric of their magic this time looked less like a net and more like complex weaving, dense and subtly patterned, sinking slowly into the walls, floor and ceiling until the last glimmer vanished from view.

Their wands dropped and Harry grinned. "Right, you check them here, I'm going to go make sure the loo's safe."

Snape chuckled. "And then we'll trade," he said, looking amused. "Showering before bed?" he asked, as casually as possible.

"Oh, yeah, I still feel a bit gritty from the attic, Scourgify can only do so much," said Harry, giving the front of his shirt a tug.

Snape nodded. "All right, we'll trade off that, too, after our," he smirked, "individual bathroom inspections."

Harry pulled a face, then vanished into the bathroom.

Snape poked around in the corners of the room, casting spells to make the wards shimmer into visibility for a moment, making sure there were no gaps or thin spots for the house to take advantage of. He heard a voice saying something indistinct, and he called out, "What was that, Harry? I can't hear you."

Harry opened the bathroom door, drying his hands. "I didn't say anything," he replied.

"Must've been my imagination," said Snape, mind still trying to piece together the snippet of sound. They traded places, Snape taking the little towel in and taking care of his own business, trying to ignore the faint shadow of little feet and rustling skirts outside the bathroom door that was followed by the whoosh of displaced air when the offender was vanished.

"I'm not silly for keeping at it, am I?" asked Harry as Snape returned to the bedroom. He was staring sightlessly out the dark window into the night. "It's not like I can really sell the place, but I've got Galleons enough to live anywhere I wanted."

"And you want to live here, and make the house your godfather gave you into a home," said Snape. He laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, comforting rather than flirting for once. "That's not silly."

Harry turned, his face open and vulnerable, and it was all Snape could do not to lean down and kiss away the expression, replacing it with whatever might come next for them. Harry swayed just a little, leaning into Snape's warmth, and then they both started and turned at the sound of high-pitched laughter and running feet from the hallway.

"Great," said Harry, chagrined. "I'm never going to sleep again, am I?"

Snape chuckled wryly and with little humour, annoyed to have lost the moment. "Perhaps we'll manage it in shifts."

Snape couldn't help but be amused that his first night in Harry's bed would be a long and sleepless one, but not the way he had hoped.

---

After their showers, Harry declared they needed to finish their dessert, and dragged Snape back to where the decimated remains of their yule logs had waited. The tea and mulled wine were both still perfectly warm and the remaining few bites of cake fresh thanks to Winky's magic, so they sat in their night things and ate. Snape felt awkward in his nightshirt and dressing gown, ankles sticking out below, but Harry didn't seem to mind a whit. The boy's pyjamas were a well-fitting set in burgundy with gold pinstripes, and Harry wore them with the air of someone trying out a long-forgotten gift.

"Was it Miss Granger or Mr Weasley who bought them for you?" asked Snape, gesturing toward Harry's chest.

Harry flushed and grinned sheepishly. "Hermione, how'd you guess?"

"You're acting like you've never worn them before, last night you weren't half so well-dressed," teased Snape. "I'm surprised there's not a dressing gown to match."

"Actually Ron picked that out, and it clashes something awful," said Harry, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's Cannons."

"I thank you for braving the cold to spare my eyes the orange, then," replied Snape, highly amused. "These are quite nice, though, subtle for a Gryffindor."

Harry snorted. "Ron was disappointed they weren't brighter red, but I really like them." He held his arm out to look at the sleeve, soft flannel with gold satin piping at the wrist. "They're really warm even without a dressing gown. Don't your ankles get cold?"

"A bit, I don't usually spend too much time out of bed once I've changed. I'm more for reading under the covers than midnight snacks, generally."

A pair of eerie, high-pitched giggles just outside the door were followed by the whoosh of displaced air. It was a reminder of just why neither of them had repaired to their shared bed, and it made the hairs on the back of Snape's neck stand up.

"Never sleeping again," muttered Harry dolefully.

"Perhaps I should read to you instead," he replied, taking another sip of tea. The sweets were delicious, but he could feel the need for sleep tugging at him. He'd grown past the blush of youth where staying up all night seemed appealing, and they'd had far too much broken rest this week.

Harry looked intrigued. "Would you really?"

Snape blinked, surprised, and then smiled. "Of course, though perhaps none of the research books we've brought up here on curses and evil spirits."

Harry took a sip of his wine, then perked up. "Oh, I've got just the thing, hold on." He got up and rummaged in his night stand, producing a worn and battered copy of A Christmas Carol.

Snape gave a bark of laughter. "It is a bit on the nose, given the season and your predicament, but we could give it a try." At the very least, the prose would be challenging enough to keep Snape awake and, hopefully, send Harry to sleep.

Harry shoved his last bite of yule log into his mouth, looking quite anticipatory.

Snape finished his own treat with a little more dignity but no less alacrity, and soon enough they were tucked into bed side by side with a last cup of tea. The lights were left on by mutual unspoken accord, though Snape was ready to claim he needed them for reading if asked.

Harry got himself snuggled up under the covers and turned on his side to grin at Snape. "All right, lull me with that voice of yours."

"I suppose this is one time that I want you to fall asleep while I'm speaking," teased Snape, opening the book to the start. He took a deep breath and started with the famous line, 'Marley was dead, to begin with.'

A part of Snape thought that the departed Blacks were of a type with old Marley, but he let that little voice quiet itself down as he concentrated on Dickens' rich prose, and on Harry's slowly drooping eyelids. He kept reading past the moment Harry finally relaxed into sleep, wanting his own voice to cover up any sounds from the house for a while longer. Tomorrow they would definitely have to deal with the dolls, and then he'd propose an afternoon out, away from the house and its hostile nature.

Finally the chapter came to an end and he closed the book, sitting in the quiet and listening to Harry breathe. With all the lights blazing, it was easy to believe that he was welcome in Harry's bed for other reasons, and he scooted down and tried to doze off himself. Their wards were strong, and he'd need what wits he could gather about him tomorrow.

---

The morning brought at least one small blessing on the two hapless men: they awoke their natural shades of pale and sallow pink, the last of the green having faded overnight. Their wards were feeling frayed and strained, but the mixture of their two magics had held well enough in the end. The sunrise bolstered them enough that Snape and Harry felt able to shower and take care of their mornings, albeit in a quick and rather paranoid manner.

Merlin suppressed a contented sigh and canted his hips more comfortably, voice steady as he continued to direct Lancelot on her mission. Merlin had come before the infiltration began, but Eggsy was still suckling gently at his cock. Eggsy's splinted arm was bound across his chest and his body was comfortably curled in the cushioned haven they'd built for him under Merlin's desk. Merlin stroked his hair, feeling Eggsy swallow and let out a gentle, vibrating sound of contentment that made Merlin's now-dormant cock swell slightly in the soft, warm space it currently occupied.

"You're almost there," said Merlin, watching the screens intently. "Second left, and I'll have the lock popped before you can say Jack Robinson."

Eggsy sighed, too quiet to be picked up by the mikes, and shifted just a little, settling into his blankets more comfortably. They both loved these times, Merlin's cock warm in Eggy's mouth and nothing demanding for either of them, just a moment of connection between a dom and his sub.

"Merlin, there you are," said a voice from the doorway.

Merlin muted the mike and grinned. "Arthur. Is this business or pleasure?"

"Both, if you've got our puppy under there," said Harry, closing and locking the door to Merlin's office.

Merlin smirked. "Just let me finish up with Lancelot, love." He'd been typing the whole time, and the door clicked open just as Roxy reached for it onscreen. He unmuted and directed, "It's unguarded for now, but they'll be around in ten, so hurry it up."

"You just want to go shag your boyfriends," said Roxy, but she slipped into the room and did her job efficiently, downloading the data and uploading Merlin's custom-designed virus.

"Can you blame me?" said Merlin, smirking at Harry.

Roxy snorted and finished up as fast as he could want. "Did you get the upload?"

Eggsy sucked a little harder, moving his tongue, waking Merlin's cock from complacency and coaxing it back to hardness.

Merlin took a steadying breath and replied. "All clear here. If you head back the way you came, you should be good to get out, but no detours or you'll run into the guard."

"Roger that. Tell Eggsy not to tell me how it went." She signed off, and he shunted her screen to one of his assistants, leaving it for someone else to get her to the extraction point safely.

As soon as the screens were dark, Harry began to loosen his tie. "You'll process that very important data as soon as we've given our good boy a reward, I trust?"

"Oh, aye," said Merlin. "Eggsy, love, come out and kiss your masters."

Eggsy's mouth pulled off, making Merlin's well-warmed erection feel cold enough that he tucked it away for now. He gave their boy a hand out from under the desk, pausing to admire the way the beautiful pale gold silk camisole set looked on his trim body as he stretched.

"Aren't you a pretty thing?" said Harry lovingly, tugging Eggsy in for soft kisses and a little massage to his undoubtedly sore jaw. "Have you been a good boy for Merlin?"

"Good as gold," said Merlin, snuggling up with them to share in the kisses.

"Does this mean I get a reward now?" asked Eggsy, pressing his bottom back into Merlin's erection and nuzzling up under Harry's jaw. Merlin loved how free he was these days, trusting now that they loved him for his wanton ways, and not despite them.

"Aye, love," said Merlin, running his hands over Eggsy's body and up to massage his shoulders. "How's the jaw?"

"He's holding it like he's sore," said Harry, before Eggsy could answer. "I was thinking you could hold him and we'll share him, over here in your favourite reading chair?" Harry gestured to the sturdy, comfortable leather chair that they'd already defiled repeatedly and at great length.

Merlin smirked. "Always a step ahead," he said. He left them each a last kiss and went to prepare the chair with some towels, a cushion for Harry's knees and a nice big bottle of lube. When he turned back, Eggsy had begun the task of carefully stripping Harry out of his suit and hanging it on the wooden valet they kept in Merlin's office now, one among many shameless nods to their relationship.

"Very good, Eggsy," Harry said, praising their boy for taking such good care with Harry's things. "The doctor says he's healing quite well and should have full use of the arm, as long as he keeps following orders."

"I've been a good boy," said Eggsy proudly. The first time he'd been injured, he'd nearly ruined himself trying to get back into the field too soon, and his doms were very keen to make sure this time went smoothly.

Merlin began undressing himself, hanging the clothes up in his wardrobe, which also contained Eggsy's actual outfit for the day. "Keep the chemise on, love, but you'll not need your knickers."

"Has the silk kept the sling from chafing?" asked Harry, helping Eggsy with his tasks as needed but otherwise letting him serve as was his wont.

"Yes, Master," said Eggsy, cheeky as ever even half-naked with his cock poking up from under the hem of his lingerie.

Merlin got himself nude and seated. He held his arms out for Harry to help get Eggsy into position, straddling Merlin's lap and cuddled happily against his chest, free arm curled around his waist. "There you go, lad, we're going t'share ye, so just relax."

"Spoilin' me," Eggsy murmured, sounding incredibly pleased with his lot. He let out a little gasp right by Merlin's ear as Harry started fingering him, and Merlin took over the task of massaging Eggy's sore jaw and kissing his lovely red mouth.

"You've earned it," said Harry, caresses brushing against Merlin's body as he stroked inside Eggsy with one hand, and over the boy's silk-clad body with the other. The camisole set had been a bit of a risky gift, but Eggsy had taken to wearing it as happily as anything else his masters asked of him, so there were more things on the way as surprises for later.

Merlin couldn't wait to get the boy all done up in black lace and white rope, once the sling came off.

"Ye've been a very good puppy," murmured Merlin, spreading his kisses along Eggsy's jaw and over his face before going back to that addictive mouth. It was as heady to taste himself in Eggsy's mouth as it was to see Harry, naked and in love and theirs, something he thought they might never find a way to work out before Eggsy had come along.

"He's ready for you, should I keep going or do you want to slip in now?" asked Harry, adding a kiss at the end, his firm lips so very different from Eggsy's but no less beloved for all that.

Merlin mmed and nuzzled Eggsy thoughtfully, watching to see how he reacted to the idea. "I think more fingering for now, love, d'ye need a hand?"

"You just hold him, I've got this end," teased Harry.

Eggsy let out another needy sound that Merlin took for the insertion of a fourth finger, and wondered if Harry was going to put his whole hand inside the boy. Merlin hooked his chin over Eggsy's shoulder to look, only to find that Harry was using two fingers from each hand to work Eggsy's arse wide open, and getting ready to add a fifth.

"It's a good thing we've got excellent lube," teased Merlin, fascinated by the slip and slide of Harry's fingers inside their boy.

Eggsy whined and nuzzled, and Merlin sighed fondly. "All right, puppy," he said, coming back to spoil Eggsy with kisses and more massage just as he deserved, not just his jaw but his back and shoulder that were just as sore for less pleasurable reasons.

"He's opening beautifully today," said Harry proudly. "Our Eggy's such a good boy."

"He loves having two of us to pleasure himself with," teased Merlin, kissing away the sting of the tease. "And we love having him to keep us on our toes."

"We love you," said Harry, kissing the back of Eggsy's hair and doing something with his hands to make Eggsy moan.

"That we do," agreed Merlin, rubbing noses affectionately. He was very enthusiastically kissed at that, and once again reminded himself to tell Eggsy he was loved more often. It didn't come easily to him, but the rewards were worth it.

"Almost ready. That certainly helped," teased Harry, kissing along Eggsy's shoulder until he could kiss Merlin as well. They couldn't quite manage a three-way kiss like this, but Merlin was happy to pass kisses from one to the other and back while Harry worked Eggsy open.

Eggsy let out the most delicious whimpers between kisses, eyes glazed and pupils blown, fully down into subspace and riding high on endorphins. It wasn't long at all before Harry was easing Eggsy down onto Merlin's cock, after adding slick that he hardly needed with Eggsy so very wet and loose already. It came in handy a moment later when Harry's cock pressed against Merlin's, the soft head slipping in and then their hard shafts almost painfully tight together as they shifted in careful inches to both get inside Eggsy's eager, willing body.

Not a one of them would last long like this, but that wasn't really the point. Harry plastered himself to Eggsy's back the same way Eggsy was cradled against Merlin's front, the three of them intimately close, sharing space and warmth, power and pleasure. They spent a few long moments just breathing before Harry took the lead again and started moving his hips. Merlin thrust in counterpoint, each of them holding Eggsy still so all he had to do was take them.

"That's it, love," purred Merlin, getting a sweet whimper in reply.

"You're doing beautifully, love," murmured Harry, and the next whimper was louder.

They moved like that for some endless span of time that was likely only a few minutes, just long enough for the friction, heat, and tightness to make Merlin's spine tingle and his balls draw up.

"Come as soon as you're ready, puppy," said Merlin, voice sharper that before, making it an order that would get through Eggsy's subspace fog.

"Come for your masters," said Harry in the same tone.

That was all Eggsy had been waiting for, apparently; he cried out desperately and came, heat flooding against Merlin's stomach and soaking into the pretty camisole as well. The shudders that ran through Eggsy's body were enough to set Harry off and Merlin after him, their cocks pulsing together in the tight space, mingled come dripping down as Harry gently pulled out, then got Eggsy off of Merlin's cock as well before snuggling back up.

"I love you both," said Merlin, letting the afterglow make it easier.

Eggsy let out a very happy sigh indeed.

"And I love you both as well," replied Harry, his voice soft and just a touch rough around the edges.

Another little sigh came from their puppy, and Merlin chuckled. "We'll have to get him into the shower before he falls asleep on us."

"Before either of us fall asleep on you, I should think," teased Harry. "I'll go warm it up, if you think you can handle him?"

"G'wan, he'll be fine once I get him on his feet," said Merlin. They all sighed when Harry stood up, leaving them colder than before, but that was enough to start Eggsy coming up out of his glazed state. Merlin coaxed him onto his feet and followed, helping him walk gingerly to the en suite bathroom that had been a luxury of being Merlin even before he had lovers to share it with.

The three of them shared the big shower easily, with Harry and Merlin getting Eggsy out of his sling and camisole and into the warm water, getting him clean and dry and back into a fresh outfit, this time baby blue with little bows on the knickers. The two older men chose silk pyjamas to match and helped Eggsy out to snuggle up on the couch in Merlin's office, sharing first a bottle of water and then, once Harry roused himself enough to make it, a pot of tea.

"How did we ever get so lucky?" said Harry, gently feeding a sip of tea to Eggsy.

Merlin chuckled. "We made our own luck, love, with patience and perceptiveness."

Eggsy snorted. "You mean I seduced you both with my fine arse."

"Well," said Merlin, sharing a wink with Harry and giving the anatomy in question a gentle squeeze, "That, too."

"Get naked, I have a plan." Arthur went to raid the maid's cart for a few important items, pleased to find everything they'd need.

When he turned back, Eames was disappointingly still dressed. "I think you're going to have to explain this plan first," he said.

Arthur dragged Eames into the little room with the ice machine, where he'd stashed the PASIV. "Naked," he said, then brandished the bottle of water he'd swiped. "Wet," he added, then waved the towel. "Locked out after your shower."

"Why me?" said Eames, though he'd bent to slip off his shoes.

"You're more distracting," explained Arthur, slipping Eames' shoes into the shoe bag he'd grabbed, then setting that aside and folding Eames' clothing neatly, piece by piece, into the laundry bag. He waved his hand at Eames' body as it was revealed. "You've got the tattoos, and the muscles, and your nipples are practically a distraction all on their own."

"Why thank you, petal," said Eames, looking amused when Arthur insisted on his underpants as well. "How are we going to..."

He was interrupted when Arthur started dumping water over his head, making sure it ran down his strong chest and back in rivulets, leaving droplets behind to sparkle in the dim light. "Rub it into your hair, it should look evenly wet."

"Warn a bloke next time, fuck," said Eames, nipples coming to proper attention at the shock. He ran his hands through his hair, gasping when Arthur poured another dollop of water onto him.

Arthur looked amused. "You needed to get properly to attention," he said, tweaking a nipple.

"Arse." Eames wrapped the towel around himself, after running it over his hair to make everything properly mussed and damp. "You're the one that couldn't pick the lock."

Arthur gave him a withering look. "You're the one that got the lock brand wrong when you did recon," he replied, putting Eames' shoes in with his clothes and pulling the bag shut. He loaded his hands with that and the PASIV, leaving nothing for Eames to do but take his towel-clad bottom out to the front desk.

Eames sighed deeply and went.

Arthur watched the whole way, waiting until Eames was out of sight to retrieve his electronic lockpicking kit from behind the ice machine, slipping the slender box back into his pocket.

Sometimes, Eames forgot that he wasn't the only criminal among them.

<p><center><img src="http://pornbunnyfarm.com/files/i-have-a-plan-brookebond.png" max-width="90%" /></center></p>

"Arthur's Ark, this is Arthur speaking," he said, the answer so rote by now that he sometimes answered his mom's calls that way.

"Arthur," purred a low, British-accented voice. "Exotic pet care is something of a speciality for you, I understand?"

"That's correct. Are you interested in boarding or home care?" Arthur asked, pulling up a new client contact in his database.

"Home care, for now, though we might need to board later," said the man. "I have a pair of sugar gliders that need someone to feed them on the evenings I have to work."

Arthur hmmed. "That seems quite doable, Mr..." His fingers tapped away entering data.

"Eames. Just Eames." He sounded amused. "Can you give me a quote?"

Arthur sighed, since this where he often lost people. "I'll really need to see the location and meet your pets before I can give you a quote."

"Worried they're hellions?" said Eames with a laugh. "Yes, all right, can I get an appointment sometime soon, then?"

"How about tonight? If you're free, I could come by, um, around seven depending on the travel time." Arthur had pulled up his calendar and was looking at his evening rounds, which included exercising Mrs. Cobb's pygmy goat and checking in on the Professor's collection of exotic lizards.

"Oh, bless you," said Eames. "Seven would be great, I can make us dinner."

Arthur blinked. "It's not a date, Mr. Eames," he said, though it was a gentle scold as he rather enjoyed the sound of the man's voice, and also wanted the job. "Text me the address?"

"I'll make dinner anyway," Eames replied, thankfully not offended. "And text you as soon as we've hung up so you can come meet the three of us."

"Thank you," said Arthur, not sure what else to say. "There's no charge for the consultation."

"Perish the thought," replied Eames. "I'll let you go, darling, and see you in a few hours."

"Yes, of course. See you soon." Arthur hung up feeling confused and annoyingly interested in his potential new client. Instead of dwelling on it, he added the appointment to his calendar, including the address as it arrived in his texts. He'd need to do a bit more research on sugar gliders before he left to make sure he didn't screw himself on the quote, so he put Eames' voice and accent and 'darling' out of his mind and got to work.

---

Despite the pygmy goat, Arthur managed to look his new-client best when he arrived at Eames' place. He tended to go for a kind of upscale business casual for new meetings, and today he had on a dark olive shirt, linen vest, and khaki trousers that had been meticulously lint-rolled, post-goat.

He tried not to be envious of the beautiful painted lady as he knocked on her green-gold door, surrounded by rich coral trim that somehow worked with the warm, golden-grey accents to bridge the gap.

"Either you're Arthur or I'm just very lucky," said the familiar voice, as the door swung open to reveal a man every bit as handsome and eccentric as his house. He had perfect two-day scruff, a mouth to kill for, a shirt with softly pastel vertical stripes in varying widths, and loosely-cut trousers that broke elegantly over bare feet.

"The former," said Arthur, holding out his hand to shake. "It's good to meet you, Mr. Eames."

"Just Eames, darling," he said, turning to display an ass that any man in San Francisco would be proud of and leading Arthur into the house.

Arthur closed the door behind them to give himself a moment to get his thoughts out of his pants and back onto business, then followed Eames through the narrow corridor and into an obviously remodeled open great room that led into the kitchen. One quarter of the room was an elaborate habitat for the sugar gliders, a floor to ceiling cage full of comfortable furniture for them. A dining table took up another quarter, and the rest was the usual living room stuff, giant tv and cozy seating that practically invited one to curl up.

"Your house is beautiful," said Arthur. He sighed softly at the welcoming feel of it, and caught the scent of something delicious. "Did you really make dinner?"

A broad grin broke across Eames' face. "That I did. Have a seat, I'll bring it out in a moment; we'll meet my gliders after you're fed."

"You really didn't have to," said Arthur, wandering over to the dining table and wondering just what kind of work Eames did that he could afford a place like this in the city.

"Oh, trust me," said Eames, pausing at the doorway into the kitchen, "generations of Eames women would disagree with that, darling."

Arthur couldn't help but chuckle at that, and he took the time to spread his napkin on his lap and get out his iPad to set beside himself, a reminder that this was not, in fact, a dinner date at a hot guy's expensive townhouse.

Eames brought out a big tray full of something that smelled amazing and looked even better, filo dough tartlets with some kind of garlicky filling. "Start with a couple of these, darling, it's spanakopita."

"Erm, thank you," said Arthur awkwardly, teasing one hot morsel off the tray and onto his plate carefully. He blew on it while Eames vanished, and then ventured a cautious nibble that was rewarded with a delicious mix of cheese, garlic, and spinach along with the flaky filo. He made a possibly obscene noise and sat back to just enjoy the bite.

"I guess you like them," said Eames, beaming as he put a lasagna on the table. "This is moussaka, I was in a Greek mood, I hope you don't mind? I didn't have time for salads."

Arthur chuckled. "I'm not a big fan of salad, anyway," he said, taking another bite of the delicious treat instead. "Mm, this is amazing and I'm definitely going to be happy to help with your sugar gliders if this is my reward."

"Well, this and money," said Eames, stealing Arthur's plate to serve up a big helping of moussaka and a few more of the little spanakopita treats.

"And money," agreed Arthur, accepting the return of his laden plate with anticipation. "God, this smells delicious."

"Thank you," replied Eames congenially. He was all easy charm and smiles with just an edge of smarminess that somehow managed to be appealing. He dug into his food with gusto, clearly enjoying it for itself.

"Are you a chef or something?" asked Arthur, after he finished his first spanakopita tart. He was dying to try the moussaka, so that was what he dug into next. The flavors were a delicious melange of beef and eggplant, tomato and spices that weren't quite what he expected, the potato another surprise that made it completely different from lasagna despite looking similar on the outside.

"Or something," said Eames, eyes twinkling with mischief. "This is my main hobby, aside from these guys." He gestured with his fork, not toward the cage, but to his pocket, which Arthur realized now was bulging and wriggling slightly. First one, then another adorable face popped out, and Eames chuckled. "You two are meant to sleep through this bit, no Greek food for you."

"They're very well-bonded, how old are they?" asked Arthur, taking another bite of the moussaka. He figured if he asked enough questions, he'd be able to enjoy both the food and Eames' voice, not to mention learning more about the job at hand. Pocket. Whatever.

"They're quite young yet, only five months, but I'm afraid I've got a client right now that won't let me bring them along on jobs." He looked regretful, stroking their heads with his free hand.

"They might bond to me," said Arthur dubiously. "I mean, clearly you're their main human, but sugar gliders will bond to a whole family group."

"Hm," said Eames, nibbling thoughtfully -- and rather distractingly -- at a pastry. "Well, I guess I'd just have to keep paying you to play with them, then?"

Arthur chuckled. "That's definitely an option, there's a few animals I visit on a regular basis." He was fond of most of them, even the pygmy goat, and he was working on finding a different caretaker for the one frilled lizard that just couldn't stand the sight of him.

Eames nodded, kissing both fuzzy heads, which had the effect of soothing them back to their nap. "You seem pleasant enough to have around so far. Tell me about yourself while we eat, maybe?"

"Exotic animals are something of a passion of mine," said Arthur, ducking his head and grinning shyly. "I love the research, and getting to learn something new and visit all these different pets. I have a tortoise I inherited from my grandpa, and a couple of rescue cats, but most of the pets I care for are other people's."

"That tells me about your business, darling, but you must have other interests?" Eames digs into his food as if to demonstrate.

"You haven't told me what you do for a living," retorted Arthur, blushing just a little. "I mean, work is my biggest hobby, but I also read a lot of near-future scifi and mystery novels."

"That is a very specific genre," said Eames.

"I like specificity," Arthur shot back, though the conversation felt more like a ping pong game than a battle, just tossing things back and forth to see what the other person would do with them.

Eames chuckled. "All right, well, I am specifically a fashion photographer, and thus my eccentricity carrying these babies around is largely tolerated, but for some reason this latest model is being a bit difficult about them."

"I also like indie rock and troll Soundcloud a lot on my phone," said Arthur, smiling now. "Have you ever modeled?" He ate another tartlet, feeling somewhat regretful that he was already starting to feel full.

"Quid pro quo is it now?" Eames chuckled. "I have, when I was younger, but I like it better on this side of the camera. No one tuts over my age lines or whether I've cut enough this time around."

"Cut enough?" said Arthur, brows furrowing.

"Oh, bulking and cutting, it's a bodybuilding thing. Not really a hobby of mine anymore, though I do enough to maintain what I've got," Eames explained, looking almost embarrassed. "I went through a period of wanting to be very big and manly."

"It's a good look on you," said Arthur with a soft smile. "Under the fashionable clothing, anyway."

Eames perked up immediately. "Why, thank you. I'm quite impressed that you manage to handle animals in your current state, as well."

Arthur chuckled. "Ah, thank you. I'm not always this dressed up, but new client, you know."

"I do indeed know," said Eames. "I see you liked the food?"

"It's delicious," said Arthur, not bothering to hide his enthusiasm. "Seriously, I haven't eaten this well in ages."

"I'm going to have to do a proper spread for you sometime, and not just two dishes," said Eames, preening under the praise. "I'm glad you read, anyway, a lot of bonding time with these guys is just sitting with them."

Arthur gave Eames a curious look and then asked, heart fluttering, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Eames shook his head, smiling wryly. "Nor a boyfriend, I'm afraid."

"Me, neither," said Arthur, "though it would be the latter."

Eames cocked his head curiously, waiting for Arthur to make his point.

"Would you like to date?" asked Arthur, after a sip of water to wet his suddenly dry mouth. Eames had added a bit of lime and mint to it, which only really registered after the fact.

Eames' mouth widened into a grin. "That would be even better than having a stranger bonded to my babies, I must admit."

"Which part, dating me, or dating your petsitter?" asked Arthur, a little archly.

Eames' eyes crinkled. "Dating you, and knowing you'll be getting attached to all three of us. Which I will still pay for, until such time as I can lure you into my beautiful home permanently."

"It is a very beautiful home," said Arthur, "but that's a long way away. Let's start with this dinner, and maybe a movie after?" He gestured toward Eames' big tv, to show he didn't mean going out and lines and crowds, just a quiet evening in.

"That's a good start," said Eames, picking up Arthur's hand and kissing his knuckles; Eames' lips were just as soft as they looked. "But don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."

---

Arthur unlocked the now-familiar gold door, which as usual took on a lovely greenish hue as it swung into the darkened house. "I'm home!" he called, leaving his rain-damp shoes, umbrella, and overcoat in the hall before padding into the living room and over to the big cage, ankles gently assaulted along the way by his cats, Sterling and Dick. The tortoise, George, had taken up residence in the sugar gliders' cage and seemed mostly happy to nap there, though he ambled out now in search of his food bowl. "How are you?"

Two striped heads popped up out of their hanging habitat, this one in the shape of a Christmas ornament in deference to the season. Arthur opened the door and walked in, and they launched one after the other and glided down to him, making happy little noises of welcome. "Feeling very chipper this afternoon, I see," said Arthur, allowing them to climb all over him and find their own comfortable perches for now.

"Dextrose and Sucrose have been very good girls all afternoon," said Eames, coming behind Arthur to wrap him in strong, warm arms. "I was doing some deep frying, so I banished them to the cage."

Arthur turned and got a kiss from him. "I'll take them upstairs to change, then, and come down here to read." He'd learned not to ask about impending food, because Eames loved his surprises and Arthur loved everything he cooked.

Eames kissed him again and asked softly, "Do you miss boarding?"

Arthur kissed his nose. "Not really, and Ariadne does a great job with that." After he'd decided to take Eames up on his offer to move in, he'd found an assistant to take over his old lease and board the animals for them. With a second pair of hands, they could take on more jobs and split up the territories -- it turned out that Mr. Hoole's frilled lizard liked Ariadne just fine.

Business was booming, for both him and Eames, and Arthur was looking forward to a very good Christmas this year.

"Good," said Eames, stealing a warm, sweet kiss. "Now go change, dinner will be half an hour or so."

Arthur smiled and nuzzled him, laughing when Suki poked her nose up to get kisses as well, followed by Dexy, who preferred to lick noses.

They went their separate ways, cats following Eames in hopes of treats, sugar gliders clinging to Arthur's waistcoat. Arthur changed into warm flannel pyjamas and a sweatshirt with a nice big pocket for the girls to snuggle in. His book was already downstairs and it was, he thought, quite as good a life as he ever could have dreamed up for himself.