He'd never really tried to speed-run while he was quite that hard before, and he was feeling it now. He ached, both from the uncomfortable position, and his body finally realizing it had spent the entire day in various stages of arousal with no payoff in sight. Clark wondered if he'd have time to take care of the problem before he had to face his mother. He remembered her earlier question about what exactly he'd been doing with Lex for the last 6 1/2 hours, and decided against it.

She was waiting up in the kitchen for him, sitting at the table with a cup of cocoa and a haggard expression.

"I'm sorry I kept you up, Mom. We really did just lose track of time," Clark was apologizing even before he got the door shut, eager to get this over with and take care of... other things. He'd never really understood about blue balls before spending an entire day thinking about nothing but sex.

"I... I believe you, Clark. You'd tell me if... if anything happened, right?" Martha looked hopeful, but tired. Resigned.

"Mom! I am not going to give you a play-by-play on my love life, no. But, if I do ever date anyone, which I'm doubting at this point, I promise to have him over for dinner, ok?"

Martha chuckled. "All right. I guess that's the most a parent can expect. I just worry about you. Lex is so much older and more experienced..."

Clark sat down, taking both her hands gently in his. "Well, until I can kiss someone without worrying about crushing their skull, I think my innocence is safe, even around the Big Bad Lex Luthor." He tried, and failed, to keep the bitterness out of his tone.

"Clark, you know that's not what I meant. It might even be good for you to... be with someone more experienced, your first time." Martha's cheeks colored a delicate shade of pink, giving her a feverish appearance under the dark circles. "And I do know Lex cares for you, I just worry about... Very few first loves last forever, Clark, and no mother wants to see her son's heart broken."

Clark took in the sincerity of her tone; let it warm the coldness that had settled in his chest. "Does Dad know you feel this way?"

Another rueful chuckle, and Martha replied, "Well.... your father and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye on this subject, and you getting home late tonight probably wouldn't help, if we were to tell him. So, we won't."

Clark's face lit up with hope. "You... Dad doesn't know?"

Martha smiled back, her face finally relaxing as the expression reached her tired eyes. "No, dear. He went to bed a few hours ago, and if Lex really does show up tomorrow to help with the flowers, then we'll just keep this between us."

"He kissed me tonight." Clark swore silently. That really wasn't what he'd meant to have come out of his mouth.

"Oh?" His mother had a strange expression, a sort of shocked half-smile.

"I... he said he liked me. That he never thought I'd like him that way. And... well, he promised he'd be here tomorrow, er, later today... for the flowers." Clark went distant and dreamy. "He's just so cool, and handsome, and he's just got everything going for him. I can't believe he really likes me!"

Martha laughed. "Now you're acting like a teenager again, and strangely I feel better. I'm glad that the b-boy you like, likes you back." Her face suddenly reddened. "You do know... about safe sex, and all that? A boy like Lex... I just want you to be careful, dear."

It was Clark's turn to blush as he remembered the evening's topic of conversation. He cleared his throat. "I, um... I think I've got that covered. Before we... Lex gave me some, um... yeah. You'd have been proud of him, actually, he was really adamant about the safety thing."

Martha raised one eyebrow. "Really?"

"Really, Mom. I think, in his way, he worries about me as much as you guys do. I... I was thinking about it today, how he always goes out of his way to do all these little things for me." Clark grew quiet, pensive.

"Well, all I can do is offer you my blessing, and promise to help you out with your father."

Clark raised his eyes to meet his mother's concerned gaze. It reminded him eerily of the way Lex had looked at him earlier. Worried. Loving. "I don't really think... He's my best friend. I couldn't risk..." he trailed off, knowing his mother would fill in the wrong blank, but unable to confide his real fears.

Martha laid a comforting hand over Clark's. "I'm sure it'll work out, honey. For now, why don't we go to bed? We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." She stood up, pulling him up with her.

"Yeah. Thanks, Mom... You know I love you guys, right?" Somehow, it just seemed important to say.

"Your father and I love you, too, Clark. And even though I know it's taking us a little time to really accept that you're... gay, I also know that we're both very proud to have you as our son."

Clark was almost speechless. After the shocked, sad silence that had greeted his declaration the night before, he hadn't expected to hear those words ever again, let alone tonight. "I..." He drew his mom into a hug. She seemed so soft and small all of a sudden, and he was glad he'd trusted her with the truth.

When they parted, her eyes were shining, and his felt suspiciously watery. "Good night, mom. I think... I think I'm gonna sleep in the loft tonight, if that's ok?"

She smiled, a knowing glint in her eye. "Tired of washing your sheets?"

"Mom!"

She laughed. "That's fine, dear. I'll send your father out to get you up for breakfast."

Clark grinned. "Thank you, Mother," he replied sweetly, heading outside to the peace and solitude of his fortress.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Clark plopped onto the made-up couch, mind racing. He was exhausted, but still too wired to sleep. Even the conversation with his mom hadn't been enough to fully dissipate the arousal humming through his veins, and the simple act of undressing for bed was enough to get him achingly hard. Again. At least when he slept in the loft there was no worry about anyone walking in on him naked, as long as he remembered to put something on before he actually fell asleep.

He found the box of tissues and the bottle of hand lotion he kept out here for just such contingencies, and settled back to relieve the tension. He had the depressing feeling that, despite Lex's apparent willingness, he'd be relying on his own right hand for a while yet, if not forever. He warmed the lotion in his palm, leaning back and letting the cool night air play over his heated skin. He trailed one hand over his chest, gently pinching a nipple as the other hardened in the chill.

He smeared his cock with the lotion, pumping it a few times before moving down between his spread thighs. Remembering how Lex had looked earlier that night, he lay down on the couch, one leg dangling down and the other hooked up over the back of the couch. A single finger circled his hole, as it had done many times before. Before he could lose the courage, he plunged the finger in, sinking to the second knuckle with a groan.

His mind's eye flashed to Lex, sitting on the couch and motioning with his hands. One finger, two. Curl upwards to find the... oh! Clark was shocked to find himself coming, the single, unfamiliar point of pleasure enough to set him off. He hadn't even damaged anything, both hands busy with the most impervious thing in the loft, his own flesh.

His nipple was actually a little sore where he'd twisted it viciously as he came, and he smiled. He'd remember this in the morning. Instead of stopping, cleaning up like he'd normally do, he dragged his free hand through the puddle of come and brought it up to his mouth to taste, fingers still buried in his ass.

He tried to remember what Lex had said about the flavor. Salty, bitter. Clark's seed was that, but also sweet, with a flavor that reminded him of bananas in milk. Creamy and alive. He wondered if Lex would find it odd, if he'd like it. If he'd taste the same. Clark's cock was growing hard again, and he pumped his fingers in and out experimentally, struck suddenly by the surreality of lying there in a barn in rural Kansas, fingerfucking himself. Licking his own come off his other hand.

He wondered how Lex would feel about that image. His cock twitched as he pictured Lex watching him. Enjoying the show. He spread his legs further, imagining Lex sitting down at the other end of the couch, fucking Clark with his eyes even as he fucked himself with his fingers. He added a third, and used his spit-moistened fingers to circle his nipples. They pebbled almost painfully as the cold air hit, and he pinched the other just as hard as he had the first.

Clark's hand moved down to encircle his cock, and Lex's soft voice echoed in his mind, "Touch it. Get yourself off for me. I want to see you come, Clark."

Clark moaned louder, head thrown back and eyes closed. The picture in his head was much more appealing than anything his eyes could show him. His imaginary Lex was naked now, between his legs, kissing his thighs. Crawling up his body, pulling Clark's hand away from his ass. Sliding his cock in its place, hot and filling and Clark couldn't even really imagine the sensation as he angled his fingers to hit that *spot* again.

He tightened his fist around his cock, pumping in and out with no particular rhythm or finesse, intent only on finding release. In his head, Lex batted that hand away and began stroking with one of his own, and Clark reached up to cup his head, to draw that tempting mouth down for a kiss.

He came, just as the vision went from daydream to nightmare. Hands pressing in, crushing, destroying, and the hot wash of come felt like blood over his chest. He curled up in a ball, and cried.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Clark awoke a few hours later, stiff and cold. His come had dripped onto the blanket, dried on his belly. His eyes were red and swollen from the tears, and his back ached from sleeping in such an awkward position. He whimpered a little as he realized he felt almost... human. Tears fell quietly as he cleaned up as best he could, and dressed in his boxers and t-shirt. He flipped the blanket over, figuring he could clean it tomorrow, and huddled underneath miserably.

Sleep refused to return, the predawn light filtering in, reminding him of the day before. In the span of 24 hours, so much had changed. The sun had come out, he had come out, hell, even Lex had come out. In fact, Clark had come out twice, first as gay and then as an alien. And god, what would his mom say when he told her about *that* little development.

Especially when she found out the kiss had come *after*. And what a kiss it was, they both were. First tender and questioning, then fierce and passionate. All sides of Lex he'd never really seen before, but suspected, hoped were there.

The image from his earlier fantasy came to mind, of Lex just watching him, ordering him around. Clark suspected his friend would have been only too glad to help out. But then the end of the daydream flashed across his mind's eye, and his resolve strengthened.

Tomorrow, he'd just have to make that resolution clear to Lex.

continued in Out, Chapter 5: the Language of Flowers